Born in 1970 and adopted into a loving, Christian family, I have been blessed to understand from a young age where my value is based and the beauty of adoption, both into my physical and spiritual family. My parents shared the non-identifying information that they had when I turned 18 and supported me as I searched for my birthmother, but without a last name, my searches all turned up fruitless. Then, after I was married and before parenthood, my husband and I searched again, hoping — at the least — to learn a medical history. I petitioned an Oakland County Probate Court judge and was granted permission for a court-appointed intermediary to make contact.
The social worker attempted to contact my birth mother but was only able to locate my maternal grandmother, who was very upset at being “found”. She told the social worker that my mother was busy caring for her husband’s sick mother, and since my birth had been concealed, contacting her would be a bad idea. She said she would ask her, but after many weeks the social worker told me that my birth mother was not interested. In the course of the conversation between the social worker and my maternal grandmother, the social worker discovered that I was conceived as a result of a date rape. My mother was 21 and in college at the time. My grandmother made threats that we should not try to make contact again and, anyway, I should have been aborted! I was very taken aback!!
My conception from rape does not matter to me because I know that I was chosen. Not only was I adopted into God’s family, I was adopted into the family that I had for a reason. Even though it was sad to hear of my rape conception, I know that everything works out for a reason.
I have been cautious not to take all of her response to heart or believe that she truly even told my mother. I all but pestered the court social worker, but she said she was legally bound not to reveal my mother’s maiden name. I had written a letter to my birth mother expressing my desire and motivation for contact (including poetry I had written over the years), but doubt it ever reached her.
My husband and I are the blessed parents of four healthy, beautiful children. I have a feeling that more children will come to us someday, probably through adoption. After two c-sections, I helped start a non-profit advocacy group promoting informed choices in childbirth — BirthNetwork. After two successive home births and home schooling, I stepped down from leadership in the organization. I have been an ardent pro-life supporter over the years, marching in D.C. on the 25th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, and now I am exposing my children to the truth of life and the lie of abortion.