Cry for Mercy
by Lewis E. Thomas, a poem dedicated to Patty Holt, who was conceived in rape. Her story is posted below.
My conception began thru rape that was a heinous crime
But I have a case to make as you read this rhyme.
I never broke any laws or did anyone any harm
I am an innocent child to be held within your arms.
I have been part of you since the beginning of my life
I am sorry if my existence adds to your pain and strife.
I share your genetic code and the blood in your veins
My love can heal your scars and take away your pain.
God designed me to deliver kisses from Heaven up above
Will you allow me the chance to give you all my love?
Mommy; “Don’t think of me as a horrible thing!”
I am a Special Gift blessed by Jesus the King!
I was conceived thru violence of which I played no part!
Can you find a place for me somewhere in your heart?
If you decide you must abort me I will understand
Just know that killing me… is not part of God’s plan.
In your womb I wait and hope I will live to get my name
I’m sorry for all the trouble but I’m not the one to blame.
“BORN BY RAPE, ALLOWED TO LIVE”
Patty Holt’s story, as written by Nicole C. Brambila, posted with permission
Once upon a time, a 15-year-old girl was raped by a 40-year-old man.
Patty Holt says her blunt language often startles her listeners.
She always starts with a Cinderella-like beginning, she says, when she’s invited to speak to youth organizations about abortion and abstinence. Her narrative, though, is far from a fairy tale.
As a result of the real-life rape, she says, the girl got pregnant.
At this point in her lectures, Holt says she has a good idea what the audience is thinking: She’s telling her own story; she was raped, became pregnant and had an abortion.
Holt says she likes to let the anticipation build.
Everyone knows it wasn’t the girl’s fault she got pregnant, Holt tells her
audience before ending the suspense:
“Well, I’m here to tell you it wasn’t my fault either; because I was the baby that resulted from the rape.”
Holt says she enjoys this part, when the room usually falls silent.
Her lectures typically run about 15 minutes. That gives her 900 seconds to persuade people that even in the case of rape, the life of the unborn should be protected.
Holt’s birth mother could have aborted her; she was born in 1977 when that option was legal and protected. Instead, Holt’s mother carried her baby full-term, then gave her up for adoption. “God gave me life,” she says. “But my mom gave me a chance.” Holt, 27, knows she brings a rare viewpoint to the abortion debate. She sees herself as living proof that abortion is a life-and-death decision.
In junior high, Holt says, when teachers would give assignments on controversial projects, she jumped at the chance to defend her anti-abortion stance. Even then, she took the hard-line perspective that rape didn’t make abortion OK.
She grew up knowing she was adopted and feeling special for being “picked.”
Five years ago, she tracked down her birth mother using the Internet. Holt sought her out partly out of curiosity, partly just to say thanks.
They met at a Korean restaurant in Dallas. Holt’s biological mother brought along Holt’s two half-sisters. Holt says she and her sisters spent much of the meal giggling and staring at each other.
The curiosities were innocent enough.
Who do I look like? she asked.
She has dark hair, an olive complexion and lives in a family of blondes. Her birth mother tells her she’s one-quarter Korean. She looks like her.
Where did my talents come from? she asked.
Holt is artistic and likes to sing, something no one else in her adoptive family can claim. Her birth mother tells her she draws. In fact, Holt’s birth mom drew a picture of her in the hospital just before giving her away.
Then she asks about her biological father. She has a gut feeling something isn’t right, that the story isn’t going to be normal. Her birth mother hesitates. Then she tells Holt about the time she was hired to baby-sit. She was raped by the fiancé of the woman who hired her. He was in the military. A report was filed. That’s all she knows.
The awkwardness of the moment came and went, as did the pleasantries, she says. They don’t keep in regular contact, although they’ve spoken recently about Holt’s new baby boy. Holt says she thinks her mother looks at her and relives the rape, the hurt. Holt doesn’t want to be that constant reminder.
People often wonder what happens when a raped girl gives birth to the attacker’s baby, she says. A rape, she says, doesn’t change a baby’s DNA.
Holt doesn’t worry that her father was a rapist. Sharing his genes, she says, doesn’t make her bad.
“I feel like, by me living the life that I have as a Christian, that I can take the bad in him and make it something good.” she says.
Scripture, she says, also gives her comfort. She quotes Psalms 139:13-14: “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb, I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”
Because God created her, she says, the circumstance of her conception doesn’t change her value as a person. Besides, she says, she knows God can take something terrible and turn it into something wonderful.
Holt, who keeps the books for a Midland company she runs with her husband, says she’s occasionally invited to speak to youth groups. In her talks to students, she says she most enjoys when they come up and say how much her story has changed their minds about abortion. The tears, she says, mean the change is real.
Holt carries a folded-up poem by Roy Lessin. It reminds Holt she’s special, she says, and that sharing her story is a part of God’s purpose for her life. She’ll read it out loud before leaving the stage. The words she lives by. She hopes, she says, the teens will, too. “You are here not by chance, but by God’s choosing. His hand formed you and made you the person you are . . . “You are one of a kind. You lack nothing that His grace can’t give you. “He has allowed you to be here at this time in history to fulfill His special purpose to this generation.”
Patty is a stay at home mom who lives in Midland, Texas with her husband, Rusty and their two children, Huston (bio son) who is four years old and Mia.