Heather Peterson-Grech

This is a poem called “You” by Heather Peterson-Grech who was attacked and  raped by a stranger, and then became pregnant and chose life for her daughter — a decision she does not regret.

“You”

You…
how dare you…
Who do you think I am? Not a person?
I do not have feelings? Yes I feel, I feel anger,
Hate and long to see you hurt
I want to push your face into the ground
I want to make you feel fear so strong
That you cannot make a sound
I want you to cry and plead, and then tell you to shut-up!
I want you to feel even the smallest amount of pain I feel
To push, and pull, to make you throw up…
On the ground, I will watch you lie, helpless and afraid
I want to say to you all of the things you said to me
To make you fear the night and hate the day
I want to walk away with a laugh, feeling oh so proud of myself
While you lie naked, cold, and helpless on the ground
Pleading, screaming, with no sound…
For help that never comes around…
I want you to feel dirty, so dirty no water
Can ever make you clean, scrub and scrub
No matter what, the filth you leave is mean
I want you to know that you did not win,
I will never let this take me
For what came to be from that night, you will never see
You will never see her smile, or hold her in your arms
You will never watch her take a step, or protect her from any harm
You will never hear the words “I love you”, you will never hold her on your lap
You will never see a paper with a gold star; you will never see that graduation cap
You will never hear wedding bells, or the cry of her newborn babe,
You are not her father, out of love this child was made
For this little girl is a gift from God, oh how blessed am I
That he chose me to be her Mother, while on that cold dark ground I did lie
He saw that she would need me and I her, and you were just a vessel
Get on your knees, pray very hard, while on your way to meet the Devil
I cannot forgive you yet for the pain, you caused me on that freezing night,
One day it will come, one day soon enough,
Until then, I hope I will be all right………

~ Heather Peterson-Grech, New Mexico
mytenzie@aol.com