Jenni Maas' Story: Conceived in Rape, reprinted with permission from
Human Life International
http://www.humanlife.org/abortion_jenni_story.php
I first began to recognize that I had a
story to tell when I was attending a
public Junior High school in Forest
Lake, MN. Frequently the abortion
topic would come up with friends and
on occasion teachers would talk about
why abortion should remain legal. I
would always cringe a little when they
would say, "I don't like abortion. I
think it is wrong . . . except in cases
of rape and incest," or "We really have
to keep abortion legal for cases of
rape and incest."
My mom had slowly been revealing the circumstances of my
conception to me over the years and by the time I was 13, I
understood and had come to grips with the reality that my father was,
essentially, a rapist. He was 18, as was my mother, at the time of my
conception. Though he had most likely acted out of a dare by his
friends, he had violated my mother against her will.
When my mom found out she was pregnant with me, the only advice
she was given was to discard the "products of conception." She
explains how she was never offered support to keep me, though this
is where her heart was leading her. Needless to say, I am eternally
grateful that she heeded that still, small voice in her heart that told
her the life growing within her had a purpose and did not deserve
death.
When the topic of rape and incest came up throughout junior high
and high school, I would usually first try to appeal to reason saying:
"Why don't you like abortion? What is wrong with it?" When they
would answer "Because, it's a life" some would immediately recognize
the double standard and relent. Most of the time, however, even when
faced with their own illogical statements, they would still persist with
emotional arguments: "You can't make a woman go through with a
pregnancy like that." Though it is an unjust and heart wrenching
scenario to consider, it must be dealt with, and so I would tell them our
story. Only once in high school did a person who heard this story turn
away cold-faced. Every other person who was confronted with "a
face" allowed their heart to melt at the truth of the matter-God has a
plan for everyone!
As my husband and I anticipate the birth of our own baby soon, I am
continually discovering God's magnificent plan, not only for my life,
but also for every life that he calls into existence. It is crucial that
every citizen realize that a person's dignity is not founded in whether
or not one is wanted, as abortion peddlers and legislators would like
them to believe. A person's dignity is founded in the reality that
persons are created in the image and likeness of God. The
circumstance of my conception or yours does not determine the
quality of our lives.
Young people across the nation and around the world are
increasingly recognizing the double standards of abortion rhetoric.
They see that all the promises of the so-called "sexual revolution" are
coming up empty. Young people are renewing the pro-life movement
with an enthusiastic determination to bring about a "Culture of Life."
By the grace of God, my mom (and I) were spared the life-long, direct
agony that abortion brings. However, when you consider Planned
Parenthood's grisly statistic that 40% of all women in the U.S. will have
an abortion by the age of 40 (mothers, daughters, aunts,
grandmothers, granddaughters, cousins, wives) every American
citizen has been touched by the grief of abortion directly or indirectly.
Therefore, every one of us has an obligation to stand up! I am thrilled
to be a part of the generation that WILL turn the cultural tide so that
following generations will be spared this unjust suffering.
For Life,
Jenni Maas
Human Life International
http://www.humanlife.org/abortion_jenni_story.php
I first began to recognize that I had a
story to tell when I was attending a
public Junior High school in Forest
Lake, MN. Frequently the abortion
topic would come up with friends and
on occasion teachers would talk about
why abortion should remain legal. I
would always cringe a little when they
would say, "I don't like abortion. I
think it is wrong . . . except in cases
of rape and incest," or "We really have
to keep abortion legal for cases of
rape and incest."
My mom had slowly been revealing the circumstances of my
conception to me over the years and by the time I was 13, I
understood and had come to grips with the reality that my father was,
essentially, a rapist. He was 18, as was my mother, at the time of my
conception. Though he had most likely acted out of a dare by his
friends, he had violated my mother against her will.
When my mom found out she was pregnant with me, the only advice
she was given was to discard the "products of conception." She
explains how she was never offered support to keep me, though this
is where her heart was leading her. Needless to say, I am eternally
grateful that she heeded that still, small voice in her heart that told
her the life growing within her had a purpose and did not deserve
death.
When the topic of rape and incest came up throughout junior high
and high school, I would usually first try to appeal to reason saying:
"Why don't you like abortion? What is wrong with it?" When they
would answer "Because, it's a life" some would immediately recognize
the double standard and relent. Most of the time, however, even when
faced with their own illogical statements, they would still persist with
emotional arguments: "You can't make a woman go through with a
pregnancy like that." Though it is an unjust and heart wrenching
scenario to consider, it must be dealt with, and so I would tell them our
story. Only once in high school did a person who heard this story turn
away cold-faced. Every other person who was confronted with "a
face" allowed their heart to melt at the truth of the matter-God has a
plan for everyone!
As my husband and I anticipate the birth of our own baby soon, I am
continually discovering God's magnificent plan, not only for my life,
but also for every life that he calls into existence. It is crucial that
every citizen realize that a person's dignity is not founded in whether
or not one is wanted, as abortion peddlers and legislators would like
them to believe. A person's dignity is founded in the reality that
persons are created in the image and likeness of God. The
circumstance of my conception or yours does not determine the
quality of our lives.
Young people across the nation and around the world are
increasingly recognizing the double standards of abortion rhetoric.
They see that all the promises of the so-called "sexual revolution" are
coming up empty. Young people are renewing the pro-life movement
with an enthusiastic determination to bring about a "Culture of Life."
By the grace of God, my mom (and I) were spared the life-long, direct
agony that abortion brings. However, when you consider Planned
Parenthood's grisly statistic that 40% of all women in the U.S. will have
an abortion by the age of 40 (mothers, daughters, aunts,
grandmothers, granddaughters, cousins, wives) every American
citizen has been touched by the grief of abortion directly or indirectly.
Therefore, every one of us has an obligation to stand up! I am thrilled
to be a part of the generation that WILL turn the cultural tide so that
following generations will be spared this unjust suffering.
For Life,
Jenni Maas
| Russell Saltzman's Story Conceived in step-sibling incest, Russell lives in the Kansas City area and is available for speaking -- russell.e.saltzman@gmail.com Summary Remarks of Russell E. Saltzman, Pastor of Ruskin Heights Lutheran Church, Kansas City, MO Before the U.S. Senate Appropriations Subcommittee on Labor, Health and Human Services, and Education, September 14, 2000 Thank you, Mr. Chairman and Senators, for the opportunity to appear before this subcommittee this morning. I count it as a privilege. I once worked for a Member of Congress and I know the energy and the time you bring to this work and how difficult your decisions sometimes are, and you are to be thanked for your efforts. I am here as a person with diabetes to testify against the use of human embryonic stem cell research. But I shall first reveal something of myself. I am the adopted child of Harry and Lola Saltzman, my parents who live yet in the home where I was raised in Olathe, Kansas. Since I am an adopted child, you might guess, accurately, that the circumstances of my conception were not ideal. In the summer of 1946, I was an unplanned, unwanted pregnancy. My birth parents were members of the same family. In fact they were step-siblings. Very possibly my conception was the result not only of step-sibling incest, but step-sibling rape. There is no question in my mind - given the circumstances current these days - that my birth mother would have been urged to accept abortion and very likely would have sought one as the means of solving the dilemma I represented. I am unable to look at abortion in any light except those of my origin. When I say that appearing here is a privilege, I hope I also convey my sense of the miraculous, for had my conception occurred after 1972, I would not be here at all. And suddenly it comes to mind that - having been aborted - the fetal parts that were once me might have become research material for somebody's investigation into the very disease I have come here to discuss. So at the outset, I say it is a terrible thing we undertake in these discussions, not only because the matter touches me so personally, but also because I know our common origin, the base humanity that links us one to another, whatever our stage of development or maturity. We all once sprang from an act of union between egg and sperm. We all once were human embryos. We all once were fetuses quickening in our mothers' wombs. We are all, each, human life. We may hope that all of us were conceived in love, but in my case that matters not at all. Whether I was conceived in love or in violence, what is important for me is the fact that I am here in the first place. My existence by itself has some considerable consequence for other people, not least for my seven children, two of whom are adopted. I suffer from diabetes. Since my diagnosis in 1995, I have learned that the burden of a chronic illness is a real burden. I have experienced the progression of this illness from a time when simple diet alterations controlled it, to the point now where I am completely insulin-dependent. It is the chronic part that constitutes the real burden, knowing I shall never be rid of it, knowing my life will always be governed by diet and injection schedules, and knowing, too, that my death probably will be the result of some diabetic complication. When I say I wish I did not have it, I am saying there is almost anything I would do to get rid of it. Almost. The prospect of stem cell therapy derived from human embryonic research - involving the destruction of a human embryo - touches me in a most profound way. I would never consent to any treatment for my diabetes that directly or indirectly came about as the result of destroying a human embryo. What I find disturbing about this incessant rush to harvest stem cells from embryos is the fact that no researcher to date has been able to develop a pancreatic cell from the techniques presently used, this while there are several promising avenues of research that do not involve destruction of a human embryo. Most recently, I have learned about investigations by Canadian researchers that employed pancreatic islet cells from cadavers. The technique successfully eliminated insulin-dependence of several diabetics who received the procedure. The procedure is subject to further trials and it must be nuanced in application. But this holds greater promise for a diabetic cure than anything else I have heard about - and islet cell transplant is ethically neutral. It has no moral implications associated with it. Yet, we here in the United States seem in a rush to use what is arguably the most ethically objectionable method available, while other morally neutral medical technologies virtually are at hand. The President's own National Bioethics Advisory Commission has said that because human embryos deserve respect as a developing form of human life, destroying them "is justifiable only if no less morally problematic alternatives are available for advancing research." The fact is, those alternatives exist. It comes to a question. Is the human embryo human life, or is it a mere bit of research material? If it is mere research material, then why should any human life at any stage of development - yours or mine - carry any special privilege? But if the embryo is human life, then we should have in place some restraint that cautions the strong against using the weak for their own purposes. I would commend to your reading Aldous Huxley's Brave New World. Written in 1933 Huxley, with astonishing prophetic foresight, created a world of genetic clones and what he called "decanted babies." All this arose because in the world of his novel, the human embryo was merely research material. He worried that science was being twisted all around. Where once, as with the sabbath, science was made for Man, he foresaw a time when Man would be made for science. In Huxley's fictionalized world the process that turned science around was methodical and deliberate, and without moral regard. In our own world, the process going on is less tidy but no less deliberate, and, I fear, with equally little moral regard. If a cure for diabetes and a host of other ailments require the production and destruction of human embryos, then I beg you to consider the possibility that some diseases are better than their cure. -- Russell E. Saltzman rhlcpastor@sbcglobal.net |
Conceived in Rape Personal Stories and Pro-Life Speakers
| Rebecca Kiessling Conceived in rape / Pro-life speaker |
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Mary Payne's Story Conceived in rape, Mary lives in Oklahoma
City. She is an advocate for adoptees and is the current moderator
for www.stigmatized.org's e-mail support group. Mary is available for
speaking -- marpayne@siriusnet.net
Ladies and Gentlemen and Friends of Life,
my name is Mary Payne. I am grateful for the
opportunity to share with you today. I have
written this piece because I want to share with
you that all life is important and children born
from rape or incest are no different from you.
I can say this because I was born as the result
of a conception, which occurred after a
rape/assault. Although I came from a criminal
act, does not define who I am. I am a loving
daughter, faithful wife, nurturing mother, and
doting grandmother. I am very sorry for the pain and anguish that my
birthmother endured on my behalf. I wish I had the power to wipe
away all her suffering, but I can't. I love her even more now, because
I know the details of my conception. She certainly did not deserve the
events that occurred in her life.
She made the best of a tragic situation. And the only thing I can do
at this point is to pray for her every day and to work toward being the
best and most loving person I can be, breaking the cycle of abuse.
Our two-year-old granddaughter lives in California. When her mom
or dad puts her on the phone and she says, “I love you, Gramma!”
My heart just melts. All babies are so special.
I’d like for you to close your eyes for a minute and picture in your
mind the first time you held a newborn baby. Think about how it felt
to have the baby nuzzle your neck. Look at the baby’s hair, her little
toes, her fingers, and her skin. Visualize the baby’s eyes. At that
moment in time when you looked into her eyes, did you stop and ask
yourself, “Gee, I wonder what the parents were saying to each other
when this little person was formed? Did the mother consent? Is it OK
for this baby to be here?” Absolutely not! And that is what I want to
impart to you today. Life is life. And life in the womb -- no matter
how he or she was precipitated -- is still a developing human being
and should be constitutionally protected. What if great statesmen
like Thomas Jefferson, or George Washington, or honored poets like
Maya Angelou had been aborted? We will never know what great
individuals are missing from our society because we have condoned
abortion for 33 years.
I am so grateful that my birthmother chose life for me. I found her in
1991, but I didn’t learn the circumstances surrounding my conception
until 1993. My birthmother wanted to spare me the details of knowing
I was conceived from rape. I cannot deny that it was difficult. I felt
dirty, guilty, and less-than-a-human-being for a period of time. To be
perfectly honest, because our society looks down on violence,
illegitimacy, and factors associated with unwed motherhood, I was
unprepared for the news. My self-esteem plummeted. I had always
been told that my birthparents were just two kids in love who were too
young to get married. Naturally, it was a blow to learn the truth. The
floor could have swallowed me. My brain cells shattered and for a
time, I had difficulty thinking about anything other than my
conception. I bought a 6,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, because working
jig-saw puzzles helps the brain to overcome trauma. I reasoned that
for the kind of trauma I had, it would take 6,000 pieces! We lost our
dining room table to the puzzle. It took 10 months to complete. My
husband bought a microwave so he wouldn’t miss any meals. Well,
you gotta’ do what you gotta’ do! As I worked the puzzle with my
husband’s and sons’ support, faith gave me the power to sort through
my thoughts and feelings about conception. My conclusion is that I
am okay. I didn’t cause the rape, I can’t cure it, and I couldn’t control
the result. I can just be me. When the egg and the sperm meet, the
egg actually surrounds and envelopes the sperm, rather than the
sperm penetrating the egg. At the moment of conception, God’s
creative energy flows through the newly created cell. Because God
has a purpose for everyone, his energy flows through the cell, giving
it life. If God did not have a Divine plan for the embryo, the mother
would perhaps miscarry the child naturally.
Even children who are miscarried can be a blessing and a child
whose life ended early is still a soul who exists in Heaven. The time
that a mother spends with an unborn child in her womb is a blessing,
even if it is for a short time. So many women rejoice just finding out
that they are pregnant. That’s the way God planned it to be — that
the knowledge of a conception would be a cause for joy, but He gave
us free will and our choices have interfered with His plan.
When Roe v. Wade was argued in 1972, one of the reasons given
was that society had to protect women who were raped. It was
supposed to apply to a narrow segment of embryos, sometimes
called “Castaway Souls.” But if people are given an inch, they will
take a mile and the number of Castaway Souls ballooned into football
stadiums full of "unwanted" baby humans, who were not allowed to be
born. What legalized abortion actually does is to pre-empt God. It
gives man control over who lives and who dies — not God. Too bad
we have been so ego-centered and materialistic that we have thought
we knew better than God.
I am grateful to each one of you who has the inner intuition of
knowing the value of every human life. Thank you from the bottom
of my heart for all you are doing. You are standing for life and those
of us who were in danger of being aborted salute you for all you do;
for being here; for phoning your legislators; for passing out flyers;
raising money; talking to your friends and neighbors about the
meaning of life. And, last but certainly not least, for voting for life.
YOU are our advocates. You honor us with your efforts and so I
honor you.
We must prevail to give even the tiniest victim a voice for life. In a
democracy, every life is important. Our society cannot afford to lose
even one statesman or stateswoman to help guide us through the
twenty-first century and beyond.
Thank you. -- Mary Payne
City. She is an advocate for adoptees and is the current moderator
for www.stigmatized.org's e-mail support group. Mary is available for
speaking -- marpayne@siriusnet.net
Ladies and Gentlemen and Friends of Life,
my name is Mary Payne. I am grateful for the
opportunity to share with you today. I have
written this piece because I want to share with
you that all life is important and children born
from rape or incest are no different from you.
I can say this because I was born as the result
of a conception, which occurred after a
rape/assault. Although I came from a criminal
act, does not define who I am. I am a loving
daughter, faithful wife, nurturing mother, and
doting grandmother. I am very sorry for the pain and anguish that my
birthmother endured on my behalf. I wish I had the power to wipe
away all her suffering, but I can't. I love her even more now, because
I know the details of my conception. She certainly did not deserve the
events that occurred in her life.
She made the best of a tragic situation. And the only thing I can do
at this point is to pray for her every day and to work toward being the
best and most loving person I can be, breaking the cycle of abuse.
Our two-year-old granddaughter lives in California. When her mom
or dad puts her on the phone and she says, “I love you, Gramma!”
My heart just melts. All babies are so special.
I’d like for you to close your eyes for a minute and picture in your
mind the first time you held a newborn baby. Think about how it felt
to have the baby nuzzle your neck. Look at the baby’s hair, her little
toes, her fingers, and her skin. Visualize the baby’s eyes. At that
moment in time when you looked into her eyes, did you stop and ask
yourself, “Gee, I wonder what the parents were saying to each other
when this little person was formed? Did the mother consent? Is it OK
for this baby to be here?” Absolutely not! And that is what I want to
impart to you today. Life is life. And life in the womb -- no matter
how he or she was precipitated -- is still a developing human being
and should be constitutionally protected. What if great statesmen
like Thomas Jefferson, or George Washington, or honored poets like
Maya Angelou had been aborted? We will never know what great
individuals are missing from our society because we have condoned
abortion for 33 years.
I am so grateful that my birthmother chose life for me. I found her in
1991, but I didn’t learn the circumstances surrounding my conception
until 1993. My birthmother wanted to spare me the details of knowing
I was conceived from rape. I cannot deny that it was difficult. I felt
dirty, guilty, and less-than-a-human-being for a period of time. To be
perfectly honest, because our society looks down on violence,
illegitimacy, and factors associated with unwed motherhood, I was
unprepared for the news. My self-esteem plummeted. I had always
been told that my birthparents were just two kids in love who were too
young to get married. Naturally, it was a blow to learn the truth. The
floor could have swallowed me. My brain cells shattered and for a
time, I had difficulty thinking about anything other than my
conception. I bought a 6,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, because working
jig-saw puzzles helps the brain to overcome trauma. I reasoned that
for the kind of trauma I had, it would take 6,000 pieces! We lost our
dining room table to the puzzle. It took 10 months to complete. My
husband bought a microwave so he wouldn’t miss any meals. Well,
you gotta’ do what you gotta’ do! As I worked the puzzle with my
husband’s and sons’ support, faith gave me the power to sort through
my thoughts and feelings about conception. My conclusion is that I
am okay. I didn’t cause the rape, I can’t cure it, and I couldn’t control
the result. I can just be me. When the egg and the sperm meet, the
egg actually surrounds and envelopes the sperm, rather than the
sperm penetrating the egg. At the moment of conception, God’s
creative energy flows through the newly created cell. Because God
has a purpose for everyone, his energy flows through the cell, giving
it life. If God did not have a Divine plan for the embryo, the mother
would perhaps miscarry the child naturally.
Even children who are miscarried can be a blessing and a child
whose life ended early is still a soul who exists in Heaven. The time
that a mother spends with an unborn child in her womb is a blessing,
even if it is for a short time. So many women rejoice just finding out
that they are pregnant. That’s the way God planned it to be — that
the knowledge of a conception would be a cause for joy, but He gave
us free will and our choices have interfered with His plan.
When Roe v. Wade was argued in 1972, one of the reasons given
was that society had to protect women who were raped. It was
supposed to apply to a narrow segment of embryos, sometimes
called “Castaway Souls.” But if people are given an inch, they will
take a mile and the number of Castaway Souls ballooned into football
stadiums full of "unwanted" baby humans, who were not allowed to be
born. What legalized abortion actually does is to pre-empt God. It
gives man control over who lives and who dies — not God. Too bad
we have been so ego-centered and materialistic that we have thought
we knew better than God.
I am grateful to each one of you who has the inner intuition of
knowing the value of every human life. Thank you from the bottom
of my heart for all you are doing. You are standing for life and those
of us who were in danger of being aborted salute you for all you do;
for being here; for phoning your legislators; for passing out flyers;
raising money; talking to your friends and neighbors about the
meaning of life. And, last but certainly not least, for voting for life.
YOU are our advocates. You honor us with your efforts and so I
honor you.
We must prevail to give even the tiniest victim a voice for life. In a
democracy, every life is important. Our society cannot afford to lose
even one statesman or stateswoman to help guide us through the
twenty-first century and beyond.
Thank you. -- Mary Payne
www.jamesrobison.com, host of
daily tv program, "Life Today"
and Founder and President of
Life Outreach International
daily tv program, "Life Today"
and Founder and President of
Life Outreach International
Other famous people
conceived in rape:
John Cox, 2008 Republican
Presidential Candidate:
"Conceived in rape, John was
brought into this world by a
mother who refused to abort
her pre-born possible future
President."
www.cox2008.com/cox/south_car
olina_straw_polls_confound_exp
erts/
Angelina Jolie's adopted
daughter Zahara "Result of
Rape." Link to Article
Faith Daniels -- talk show host
of the TV show Dateline, A
Closer Look, and Today
(among others). She describes
coming to terms with the fact
that her conception resulted
from rape in a People Magazine
article.
Fredrick Douglass -- former
slave and abolitionist. He details
his conception by rape in his
writing, Narrative of the Life of
Fredrick Douglass, available
online at
http://pd.sparknotes.com/lit/narr
ative/section5.html
Jesse Jackson -- Reverend
whose mother was 16 when he
was conceived and whose
father was a 30-year old next
door neighbor who was already
married
Tracy Carter Jennieve --
daughter of actress Nell Carter,
who was conceived when Nell
was raped at 16 years old.
Traci Lords (Nora Kuzma) --
conceived in rape and exploited
as a teen, she shares in her
autobiography, "Underneath It
All"
Forced Abortion on Rape Victim
http://www.operationrescue.org/
archives/forced-abortion-rape-vi
ctim-comes-forward-after-abortio
nist-given-probation/
conceived in rape:
John Cox, 2008 Republican
Presidential Candidate:
"Conceived in rape, John was
brought into this world by a
mother who refused to abort
her pre-born possible future
President."
www.cox2008.com/cox/south_car
olina_straw_polls_confound_exp
erts/
Angelina Jolie's adopted
daughter Zahara "Result of
Rape." Link to Article
Faith Daniels -- talk show host
of the TV show Dateline, A
Closer Look, and Today
(among others). She describes
coming to terms with the fact
that her conception resulted
from rape in a People Magazine
article.
Fredrick Douglass -- former
slave and abolitionist. He details
his conception by rape in his
writing, Narrative of the Life of
Fredrick Douglass, available
online at
http://pd.sparknotes.com/lit/narr
ative/section5.html
Jesse Jackson -- Reverend
whose mother was 16 when he
was conceived and whose
father was a 30-year old next
door neighbor who was already
married
Tracy Carter Jennieve --
daughter of actress Nell Carter,
who was conceived when Nell
was raped at 16 years old.
Traci Lords (Nora Kuzma) --
conceived in rape and exploited
as a teen, she shares in her
autobiography, "Underneath It
All"
Forced Abortion on Rape Victim
http://www.operationrescue.org/
archives/forced-abortion-rape-vi
ctim-comes-forward-after-abortio
nist-given-probation/
| Dr. Bethaney Tessitore's Story -- Bethaney resides in Decatur, Alabama, and is available for speaking. nittanneey96@yahoo.com Thank you very much for reading my story here today. For the past two years I have gone to Zambia, Africa. Due to the high rate of AIDS in sub- Saharan Africa, there are more orphans in Zambia than in any other country of the world. Last year when I was there, I felt compelled to share my testimony of foster care and adoption. I knew that the Zambians would be able to relate to the feeling of being unwanted, unloved, and orphaned. They needed to know that there is more to them as individuals than the circumstances surrounding their conception or who they have in their family unit. There is purpose in their life above and beyond anything that they could ever imagine and unconditional love that can only come from God. Six days after returning to the states, I was asked to be the keynote speaker at a Right To Life Rally. Imagine that…only six days later and God showed Himself to be faithful. He showed me that not only can I impact Zambians on the other side of the world, but I can also have an impact on Americans in my own community as well. So, today I want to share with you some of my experiences and how those issues have impacted my life. I was an only child until I was ten years old. One day my mom said to me that I was going to have a baby brother or sister. I asked her if she was pregnant. She said no, that we were going to adopt a child because she couldn’t have babies anymore. The way she said it led me to believe that she had me and then could not have any more children after me. Finally in December, my brother, Josh came to us. When Josh was a few months old my family was driving through a mall parking lot. I asked my parents when we were going to tell my brother he was adopted. My dad slammed the car into park, took off his seatbelt, and leaned over me, telling me sternly never to bring the subject up again. He is our child now so he never needs to know that he is adopted. It was that night that I learned from my parents that adoption was taboo and never to be brought up again. My brother’s adoption, and unknown to me at the time my adoption as well, was our family secret. During these times, it never occurred to me that I might also be adopted. That was until I found an obituary for a stillborn baby girl that my mother had. The date was April 7th 1974. My birthday is March 30th 1974. As a result of this discovery as well as others, thus began the process of acceptance into the reality that I was adopted. I didn’t tell my parents any of this because I was afraid of what their reaction would be. My family made it clear that there was a shame and stigma attached to adoption. As a result, I withdrew and never told any of my friends either. When I was in college, I finally told my best friend that I was adopted. When she still accepted me for who I was and was not ashamed of me, I began to realize that adoption is not necessarily a bad thing. With her support, I called my mom during my senior year at Penn State to tell her everything that I had discovered. When I finally told my mother, she denied it, got upset, and told me I was lying. She woke up my father and put him on the phone. My dad was very supportive and told me that if I ever wanted to search for my birthmother, he would help me. At that point in time, I had no desire to look for my birthparents. I knew that eventually that time would come when I would want more answers but this was not yet the time. A few years later my mother died. It was one of the most difficult things I have ever had to deal with. She was 44, I was 23, and my brother was only 12. Even though she had concealed my adoption and even lied about it, I still loved her more than anyone. I moved out shortly thereafter to attend graduate school. In 2000 following graduation, it was then that I was finally ready to start searching for my birthparents. I definitely did not want to replace my own parents; however, I just needed answers. In December of 2000, I received a letter of non-identifying information. Reading that letter for the first time was incredible. In a period of five minutes I found out so many things about me; my given name at birth was Stephanie, I found out my birth weight and length, the time of my birth, and my maternal family history. Finding out so many things about yourself at one time really is indescribable. I could not take my eyes off that paper. I just sat there for the rest of the evening, holding that paper in my hands and staring at it. Two weeks later, I contacted Catholic Charities and started the search for my birthmother. Now all I could do was sit back, be patient, and wait. And wait I did. For over four years I did not hear anything from them. By May of 2005, I was now residing in Florida. It was then that I received a phone call by Catholic Charities. The case worker who was working on my search said “Bethaney, we found your birthmother. I will give you her phone number and you can call her.” She started by saying “813.” “813, I interrupted! That is Tampa!” “Yes,” my caseworker said. “She lives in FL near you.” What are the chances of that? I lived in Florida for less than one year and within those few months, I find my birthmother living only 20 miles from me! I called her and we met on Memorial Day. It was amazing to meet her and see what she looked like. She brought pictures of her family and I showed her pictures of me growing up. Finding out some things were incredible. She was in the medical field just like me. She told me that she thought about me every day, especially on my birthday and mother’s day. She had always wanted to look for me but decided not to interfere with my life. She respected me enough to wait until I was ready to contact her. So many of the things she told me were positive. However, others were not quite so uplifting. My birthmother remained single and had a tough life. She grew up without her mother around and still has no communication with her. She got pregnant with me at age 19, placed me up for adoption, and one year later had a hysterectomy. This was difficult on her because she had always wanted many children. She just was not ready to be a single mother to a child while she was still a teenager. The following year, her older brother and sister, whom she was very close with, died in a car accident. Later on she almost killed herself and another person in a terrible car accident where she was at fault. In addition to finding out about her difficult life, I also found out many things that no one would really want to hear about their genetic heritage. She told me that she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, as was her father. Almost all of her family dealt with severe depression and took anti-depressants, and my first cousin, who was seven days older than me, committed suicide a few years before. In the midst of finding out all of these things about her and her family, I still had a burning desire to find out who the father was. Catholic Charities reported that the birthfather was unknown. My hope was that my birthmother knew who the birthfather was but just didn’t divulge that information to Catholic Charities. When I asked her who the father was, she responded, “I knew you were going to ask me this. I don’t know.” She told me she was dating a black man at the time so it may have been him. Unbeknownst to her, I had already found out that I had genetic testing completed at birth at Children’s Hospital to see if her boyfriend may have been my birthfather. Testing revealed that there was no black parentage present. I shared this information with her and said “So, if it wasn’t him, then who else could it have been.” She was slow to answer. Then she told me that she left Pittsburgh and moved to Tampa for six months in 1973. It was during that time that she started using drugs and drinking heavily. She would go clubbing in downtown Tampa and after those late evening she got involved with many men. As a result, she had no idea who the father could be and could not even begin to guess on names. Although this is the answer I had been expecting, I was still disappointed that I would never be able to find out where half of my DNA came from. I am never going to be able to look my father in his eyes. I am never going to be able to see what traits we share. What made it even stranger for me is that I was conceived in Tampa. My birthfather and his family might be living right next door to me and I would never know it! After realizing that more conversation on this topic would do nothing to gain more information, we moved on. However, later on in the evening when I was telling a story, my birthmother abruptly interrupted me and said “By the way, I was raped by gunpoint.” For a second I just sat there. I was prepared for her to tell me that I was conceived through a one night stand. And I was prepared for her to tell me she was a prostitute. However, I never thought about the fact that rape could have resulted in my conception. All I could think to ask her was “So, that could be my father.” She responded by saying “Yes, It could be. But that doesn’t matter.” I was so shocked to hear that I might be alive because of someone else’s anger, lack of self-control, and need for dominance, that I had no idea what to say back to her. I had always assumed that my conception was my birthmother’s fault for not being responsible. But, finding out that I might have been conceived by rape; that is a whole new ball game. Now the birthfather’s selfish behavior led to my birthmother having to endure nine months of horror and a more or less a lifetime of pain and regret. Months after I moved to Alabama, the idea of me being a product of rape still haunted me. I emailed my birthmother to obtain more details. Two months later she responded to my email saying “Yes, I was raped, but that was not how you were conceived. I was already pregnant with you during the time of the rape. I remember telling the man not to hurt me because I was pregnant.” After talking to some other people well-versed in the area of rape and incest with experience in counseling birthmothers, I am told that I am likely a product of rape. Birthmothers do not necessarily want their child to find out that they were conceived in rape but the internal desire to express that causes the birthmother to quickly state that they were raped and get that out into the open. Then if the birthmother sees a backing away by the child, the birthmother may perceive that the child is backing away due to the rape and then the she rescinds her first statement and changes her story to promote a better relationship. So, even today, I still do not know the real answer regarding my conception. All I know is that in any case, I was unplanned and unwanted. Knowing that I was a possible product of rape, I asked the big question that many adoptees want to know. “Did you want to abort me?” The answer was one that I expected, but one that stung never-the-less. “Yes” she responded. “I did.” In 1974, although abortion was legal at the time, it still it wasn’t as accepted as it is today. So, as a result of that and her Roman Catholic upbringing, she chose to give me life. In the midst of finding out all of this new information from my birthmother, I also spoke with my adoptive grandmother to figure out some of the other missing pieces of my adoption story. One day I found a calendar from 1974. Under June 19th, it read “Bethaney came to us.” I always wondered where I was from March 30th until June 19th, almost two and a half months. Being a healthy, white baby girl, I should have been adopted out by Catholic Charities as soon as I left the hospital. Since there is a long waiting list for white adoptions, I could not figure out how my family got through the entire process so quickly considering that they planned on having their own child up until April 7th. After years of wondering, I finally asked my grandma about that situation. She told me that my mom was devastated by the news of her stillborn baby and no hope of having any more. My grandfather knew someone who worked for Catholic Charities. When my grandpa met with that person, the man said that in fact there was a baby girl in foster care waiting to be adopted. That baby girl was me. All of the prospective parents on the list to adopt were told about me…a healthy, white baby girl. However, due to the negative maternal history and lack of paternal history, no one wanted to take a chance on raising me. Everyone thought that I would turn out like my birthparents, a promiscuous drug addict and alcoholic, with very little education and no hope for the future. My parents on the other hand had a different opinion. My mom didn’t care anything about my birthparents and they were willing to give me an opportunity to have a product live life. My parents chose me despite the rejection I faced from the rest of the world. So the process of meeting my birthmother enlightened me to many things about my negative genetic history, possible traumatic conception by rape, and the unimaginable pain and loss felt by my adoptive mother as she gave birth to a stillborn baby. The awareness that not only was I unwanted by my birthmother, but that I was also unwanted by the entire Catholic Charities adoption list, hit me hard. I had no strong connections while in Florida that year – no family, no network of friends, and no church home. I began to question why I even existed. I was taken to the lowest point that I have ever been in my life. Then in September of 2005, without any prospective jobs available and not enough money to get me through two months, I quit my current job in Florida and I moved to Decatur, Alabama. I needed to get connected into a good church home and decided on one that I had visited several times where my best friend’s husband was one of the pastors. It was during that first year in Alabama that I began to take a step back to the basic foundation of my life and rediscover who I really was. I got saved in August of 2003 and baptized shortly thereafter. For the next eleven months I was planted in a strong Bible believing church where my spiritual life grew tremendously. I learned more about the Bible in those eleven months than I have the entire 29 years prior. Having learned so many new and troubling details about my life, I realized that in order to experience healing, I would have to go back and apply those Biblical principles that I learned to the overall picture of my life. I already acknowledged the basic foundation that God created the heaven and the earth. As I began to search the Bible for answers, I slowly realized the magnitude of God’s love and plan for each one of us. In Acts Chapter 17, it states that God made the world and all things therein. It continues on to say that not only did he create us, but he created each of us to live in a specific time period and a specific locale. God has a reason for me living here in the south in 2007. If God plans for us to live in specific regions in certain decades, then that shows me that I am definitely not a mistake. God wants me here for a purpose and planned out my birth, life, and death to accomplish that purpose long before I was ever born. Earlier on in Matthew, it states that God knows the number of hairs on my head. I have heard and read that verse many times before. However, this time that verse meant something different to me. For God to know the number of hairs on my head, a number that is constantly changing, that must mean that He cares about me. That He thinks I am important. That I matter. That I have value and purpose. While I was now understanding that God created everyone no matter what the circumstance of their conception, I still needed to process why being adopted had to be part of my life. Essentially adoptees are not wanted by their birthmother and in most situations adoption is not the first choice that couples use to have children. It is a “plan B” scenario when “plan A” does not work. By opening my eyes and allowing God to show me His divine plan for each of us, I found many verses describing how adoption is the method that God chooses to bring us into His family. I learned that adoption is God’s way of picturing His love for us. After reading the prevalence of adoption in the Bible and internalizing that, I have realized many things. Since God used the spirit of adoption to call us to be children of God through Jesus Christ, I definitely know there is no stigma in being adopted. Look at the life God chose for Moses, one of the most famous adoptees in all of history. Through being raised in the midst of his enemies, Moses learned the tools and skills that were needed to make him a leader in order to take his own people, the Israelites, out of Egypt. By acknowledging the power of God in my life and the truth that He has a purpose for me and loves me for who I am, I have accepted the fact that I am an adoptee. I no longer feel the need to keep that fact a secret. I am just as important and can make as much impact here on earth as any planned human being. Through acquiring knowledge and regaining a close relationship with God, I began to see my life in a whole new way. A life with purpose. A life made through love; the opposite of what most people would say, but it’s true! A life made through His love, which is so much more powerful than any human parents love could ever be! I began to internalize that the rapist is not my creator. Neither is a promiscuous mother my creator. I am not of child of either one but rather I am a child of God. That is all that matters. Genetics and environment both play a role in who a person grows up to be. But ultimately, a person who allows Jesus Christ to be their savior and turns over the control of their life to Him can become anything that God intends for them to be. America, however, lost that sense of purpose and love of human life when on January 22, 1973, a landmark decision by the United States Supreme Court put all unwanted children’s lives in jeopardy. On that date, Roe vs. Wade legalized abortion. Since that ruling, over 47 million abortions have been performed. That equals approximately 1.5 million abortions every year or one abortion every 20 seconds. Norma McCorvey who is “Jane Roe” from Roe vs. Wade, announced to the world that she has since changed her mind about abortion. Ms. McCorvey, the woman who is the foundation behind legalization of abortion, is now an active pro-life advocate. Right now with abortion being legal, approximately 75% of women who conceive a child as a result of rape choose to give life to their baby. Those who choose to abort are four times more likely to die within the next year due to murder, suicide and drug overdose. These women have a much higher rate of divorce, alcoholism, abusive relationships, lowered self-esteem, guilt, and depression. And as far as incest goes, the story is no different. Giving birth to the baby will help the woman heal. Choosing life also serves to keep more incest from occurring. However, most victims of incest are not given a choice and are coerced into having abortions by their families. Abortion protects the perpetrator by keeping consequences of their immoral behavior hidden. This scenario also makes the woman be not only a victim during the act of incest but also makes her victimized for a second time as she kills the baby within her. In cases of conception resulting from sexual assault, abortion not only kills an unborn human being, but it also has long-term negative ramifications for the mother as well. Banning abortions with no exceptions to that rule, in reality, protects the physical health and the mental well-being of women who are too emotionally traumatized to make rational decisions that will affect the rest of their lives. On the superficial level, abortion appears to be a good way out of a bad situation. However, only the physical severing of mother/child bond takes place. Abortion never erases the memory and emotional bond between the mother and child. According to many testimonies of victims of sexual assault and incest, giving birth to their baby enabled healing to take place by helping the woman regain a sense of self-worth. Those women who were sexually assaulted and had abortions report that the pain and anguish experienced as a result of abortion was much worse than that associated with the rape. So if you really care about what is best for the well-being of the women, if you really care about victims of sexual assault, you should be 100% pro-life…totally against abortion no matter what the scenario. My life can be summarized by some lyrics written by Avalon. There are no strangers There are no outcasts There are no orphans of God So many fallen, but hallelujah There are no orphans of God I was unwanted. I was unloved. I was orphaned. But God has no orphans. He gives us that promise when he says in Hebrews 13:5 when God tells us that he will NEVER leave us! He will NEVER forsake us! Listen to the magnitude of those versus. God will NEVER abandon us. He will NEVER deny that we are His children. Once we are children of God, we are Children of God forever! I want to live. I am thankful that my birthmother gave me that right to live. Please, give other children like me, children who may be a product of rape, children who may be a product of incest, children who just weren’t planned or wanted, give them the right to live just like what I had. GIVE THEM A RIGHT TO LIFE. Dr. Bethaney Tessitore, Au.D. nittanneey96@yahoo.com www.myspace.com/bethaneytessitore |
Kim's Story (Mother to a daughter conceived when she was raped)
*This piece was written by Kim to provide comfort to those who were
conceived out of rape or incest, as well as other moms who were
rape victims.
I just want to let everyone know that life does not always turn out like
it should and we can question why or why me? But sometimes, there
are just no answers for those questions. What matters is you. And
you are here on this earth and you are important. Your life matters.
You have a lot to offer. Maybe in life you have been told horrible
things or made to feel like you were a mistake. But whoever made
you feel this way or said any bad things -- they were wrong. You
were created for a reason. There is a purpose and meaning for
every person and child and it is up to you to take advantage of this
life and make the best of it and to let the person inside shine through
the pain and show how special you are.
People wonder how I can keep and love my daughter who was
created the night of my rape. They don't have to understand it and I
don't have to explain to them how. I just do. Why? Because she is
mine. She is a child and she is innocent, as well as any child who
was brought into this world in such ways. Don't let anyone ever pull
you down or make you second-guess why you are here. You are no
different than anyone else. You are people and caring and deserve
the best out of life. We all here have been through a lot, whether we
are on one side or the other -- the mom or the child. We have a
chance to do something with our lives. I take my pain and I say "No --
you won't win." I will take my heart and shine through with love and
hope. Because without hope, life is so hard. I have been there and
yes, there will probably be days to come when I have a bad day. But
I will make it through it. It hurts to see such pain inflicted on the
children who were brought into this world as a result of rape/incest.
Because you had no part, no say, no control over what happened.
All you are is an innocent person who deserves a shot in life, who
deserves respect and love. I just want to let you all know (moms here
and children) that I do respect you and I do love and care for you and
hold your thoughts and feelings in my heart. Hold your head up. No
one can take away the gift you are. Take care everyone.
-- Kim
*This piece was written by Kim to provide comfort to those who were
conceived out of rape or incest, as well as other moms who were
rape victims.
I just want to let everyone know that life does not always turn out like
it should and we can question why or why me? But sometimes, there
are just no answers for those questions. What matters is you. And
you are here on this earth and you are important. Your life matters.
You have a lot to offer. Maybe in life you have been told horrible
things or made to feel like you were a mistake. But whoever made
you feel this way or said any bad things -- they were wrong. You
were created for a reason. There is a purpose and meaning for
every person and child and it is up to you to take advantage of this
life and make the best of it and to let the person inside shine through
the pain and show how special you are.
People wonder how I can keep and love my daughter who was
created the night of my rape. They don't have to understand it and I
don't have to explain to them how. I just do. Why? Because she is
mine. She is a child and she is innocent, as well as any child who
was brought into this world in such ways. Don't let anyone ever pull
you down or make you second-guess why you are here. You are no
different than anyone else. You are people and caring and deserve
the best out of life. We all here have been through a lot, whether we
are on one side or the other -- the mom or the child. We have a
chance to do something with our lives. I take my pain and I say "No --
you won't win." I will take my heart and shine through with love and
hope. Because without hope, life is so hard. I have been there and
yes, there will probably be days to come when I have a bad day. But
I will make it through it. It hurts to see such pain inflicted on the
children who were brought into this world as a result of rape/incest.
Because you had no part, no say, no control over what happened.
All you are is an innocent person who deserves a shot in life, who
deserves respect and love. I just want to let you all know (moms here
and children) that I do respect you and I do love and care for you and
hold your thoughts and feelings in my heart. Hold your head up. No
one can take away the gift you are. Take care everyone.
-- Kim
| Tony Kiessling's Story, conceived by "acquaintance rape" (no relation to Rebecca Kiessling) From an early age, I knew I was different from the other kids. I grew up fatherless, being raised by a single mom who lived with her older sister and mother. I have no brothers or sisters. These circumstances were not common in suburbia in the 1960's. All my friends had fathers. All my cousins too. I didn't have an explanation for it. I think most of my friends assumed my father had died somehow. I guess I came to believe that too. As I got into my teenage years, I knew some things didn't add up -- like why my mom still had her maiden name. Why she had never married? Then one day, when I was 18, I found out the truth -- my mother had been raped. Raped by a man that she knew. The circumstances under which my mom told me the truth are vague to me today. I do remember that she told me the truth in a letter and that it was always very difficult for her to talk about. There were only about three times that we actually talked about it but never at length. One thing I know for sure is that I was about the most important person to her. She gave up a lot to raise me as her own. As for what happened to my mom well she had been working in a diner at the time and there was a regular customer that winter. She talked to him and even knew his name. And then one night in February, somehow he got her into his car, drove to a park, and raped her. He left her there in the park and my mom was found a couple hours later by the police. Nothing ever came of the police report. Wow! That news hit me hard. So, I was one of "those people." I didn't know what to do, so I buried that information. I ignored the truth of my conception and hid it from my consciousness. I rebelled. I rebelled against family and against God. Suddenly, I wasn't too sure about God either. Oh, I knew about God. From my earliest years, I knew that there had to be a God. For two summers, I had attended vacation Bible school when I was about 10/11 years old. That second year, I remember reading the tract and saying the "sinners prayer" at the end, asking Jesus into my life. And when I was 18, right before I found out the truth of my conception, I had watched a Billy Graham Crusade on TV and became convinced again of the reality of the cross. But that news of my conception just didn't fit into my notion of things at the time, and I turned away from the cross and the church -- and my family to a lesser degree. I went on a journey to explore what I believed to be "the pleasurable side of life" in order to try to forget the rest. That journey lasted about five years, and one day, I realized how miserable I was. I remember surfing the TV one night (this is back in the day when surfing the TV meant seeing what was on each of the 7 channels available) and stumbling upon a Billy Graham Crusade. He talked that night about Jesus' parable of the Prodigal Son. I felt as though he was really talking straight to me. I had not gone off to a foreign land, but I was just as far away as I could be spiritually and mentally. And much like that son in the parable, I was worn out by all that riotous living I had been doing. And, the answer to my problem was the same -- repent, get up, and go home. I rediscovered my relationship with God that night through the death and resurrection of Christ. Since that time nearly 25 years ago, I came to know more about the relationship I have with God. One of the most important things I have learned is God's promise in Psalm 68 to be a father to the fatherless. I came to own this verse as God's personal promise to me. He cared enough about me to tell me he would be my father. I also see how God provided father-like men who taught me things at different times in my life. One of the most important was a man named Len who was an elder in the first church I joined. Len taught me a great deal about being a Christian man with flaws. I would like to say that my life has been a nice, easy, uphill walk, but it hasn't. I never had an easy time talking about my conception. For a long time the truth was something only my mom and I knew. I made every effort to avoid having to talk about my father's side of the family. Even when my wife was pregnant with our first child and the pediatrician' s assistant asked about family history, I avoided any information about my father. Of course, I really do not know very much about him anyway. The only thing I know about him for certain is that he had brown eyes. My mom told me once that she could see his face in mine, so I guess that's why I keep part of my face hidden behind a beard. Then one day shortly after my first child was born, I told my wife the truth. My wife never really pressed for any information about my father. She waited until I was ready to talk about it and then I told her everything I knew. My wife has been very supportive of my life in every way possible. For 45 years, I had never met another person who was conceived in rape. Then one day while driving, I had heard a radio broadcast of Dr. James Dobson -- Focus on the Family, with two women who each were accompanied by their adult children who had been conceived in rape. This was the very first time I ever heard of another person conceived in rape! I knew there had to be other people out there like me, but I had not met any. Then about a year ago, I was searching the internet for information regarding my maternal family's history, and I stumbled upon Rebecca's website (because of the Kiessling name.) As I read her story, I was shocked to find another person like me, and with the same last name! I had to find out more, so I contacted Rebecca. My wife and I went to meet her when she gave a talk an hour from where we live. It was oddly liberating to finally meet someone who had a history similar to mine. Since then, I have met a host of other people on the Stigma group who all share the same conception story as me! Some wonder if I am pro-life. Absolutely! Some have wondered if my mom was prolife. Absolutely! I know from our few conversations on the subject that she would not change a thing regarding giving birth to me and raising me. She could not imagine a world that did not include me and, in time, her three grandchildren. She had no issue with adoption -- it just wasn't the path she wanted. But abortion? She often said, "Two wrongs do not make a right, and it is wrong to end one life because it inconveniences your own." And she also said that, for all the pain that was involved, it was worth it in the end. She died a few years ago at the end of a life-long battle with type 1 diabetes and its various complications. As for my mom's spiritual journey, I know that the rape caused her some real doubts that stayed with her. She believed in God and Christ, and for a very long time, she was Catholic. In fact, I bear a testimony to her Catholic faith as I am named after two saints. For most of my life, I hid the truth of my conception from everyone -- even myself. It may seem strange now to put this testimony out on the web. But I have come to the place in my life where I know there are other people like me out there and other people like my mom as well. Now I want to join Rebecca and the others represented here and say that our lives have value and purpose. People conceived in rape do not have to hide and be ashamed. We were uniquely created by God, though the circumstances were extreme. And I personally want to say that God is indeed still fulfilling his promise to be a father to the fatherless. -- Tony Kiessling, university chemistry professor |
| Juda Myers' Story -- Singer, Songwriter, Speaker from Houston, Texas. Juda can be reached by e-mail at juda@juda4praise.com. Her new book is entitled Hostile Conception Living With Purpose and her CD is God is Faithful. Knowing I had been adopted as a baby, I longed to find my birth mom to express my gratitude for the life I’d been given. Upon obtaining information that my mother had been raped (but not having any idea of the horrible details,) I was devastated. I cried for the pain my mother had endured and I then I cried for "who I am." All of the voices of worthlessness I’d previously heard in my head had returned “with proof.” I sat and cried, desperately wondering if I should end it all. Then I realized I had no choice but to live on. After all, in 1986, I had sold my life for the price of another’s, and Jesus’ life was worth far too much to ignore that cost. So I proclaimed out loud, “My life does not belong to me and I cannot take it!” But the resulting depression of learning I was conceived in rape paralyzed me, and I refused to speak to anyone -- not even to my husband who had been eagerly awaiting for me to share my news with him. My anger caused me to instantly hate all men and I unfairly threw my husband into the "horrible male bag." I'd always had a very vibrant personality, with people describing me as "animated" and "happy." But then all I could think of was that I had the blood of a rapist running through my veins and it felt like a demon crawling around inside of me. I felt like all the life had been sucked out of me and there was not even a smile left. I felt robotic and I simply feared my life was over. The next day, I happened to have an appointment with a woman to work on a song. I was sure my acting ability would allow me to pretend all was well since the woman didn’t know anything about my recent adoption search. As this woman shared a song she’d been working on for another client, I suddenly broke down screaming for her to stop. It had been a song about men using and losing women, and I couldn’t take it! Burying my head, I saw a vision of myself, falling down an abyss, which grew deeper and darker. The woman jumped off her piano bench, came to me and said, “I don’t know what you’re going through, but God knew you before you were ever conceived!” Right at that moment, I saw a different vision -- a hand reached down, grabbed my arm and catapulted me into a brilliant light. It was so bright, I could hardly keep my eyes open. I then raised my head, looked the woman in the eyes and joyfully declared, “I believe it. I BELIEVE IT!” In one moment, I was having a nervous breakdown, and the next, I was set free! The woman said she witnessed a true miracle. What made the difference in just a matter of seconds? It was my choice to believe the truth – that God did indeed know me before I was ever conceived! This experiential truth brought me such great freedom, that I now feel I can’t be deterred from sharing with everyone this freedom to live, love, forgive and be forgiven. What is even more remarkable is that I had no idea my birth mother was living this truth as well. On December 7, 2005, I finally got the opportunity I had waited for all of my life. The good news was that my mom was waiting for me, hoping and praying that the day would come that we’d finally reunite. When our bright blue eyes met, the joy was unspeakable! She was so sweet and loving to me, so after about an hour, I asked if she'd feel comfortable telling me the circumstances of my conception. I was horrified to hear my birth mother describe how she had been raped by eight men and subsequently became pregnant with me. With my head buried in her lap, I cried deeply as she reassured me, comforted me and told me not to cry. Her next words were unforgettable: “I’ve forgiven those men and look what God has done. He has brought you back to me!” The peace (and love) that passes all understanding as described in Phillippians 4:6,7 was very real and overwhelming. It inspired to write a song called “God is Faithful,” which I presented to my birth mom on Valentine’s Day, 2006 – my birthday. Since then, I’ve discovered that this song has the ability to penetrate the hearts of men and women, young or old, any race or culture. Through my story, people have the opportunity to see the goodness of God instead of horror and tragedy. I’ve found that even previously “pro-choice” people have been left speechless. After all, there is a serious question to be considered: would I deserve to pay the death penalty for a crime my biological father had committed? What kind of a person would say “yes”?!!! When my birth mom and I were interviewed together for a television program, she said she couldn't kill a puppy or a kitten and certainly wouldn't kill a baby! Though her own mom had tried to talk her into aborting me, she says she never considered doing so. She tells me she is proud of me and that she loves me and wants everyone to know, "If I can do it, anyone can." "YOU'RE MY DAUGHTER!!!" she says, and that makes me feel great! For many years now, I have been sharing the love of God, even being a representative of “The Voice of the Martyrs.” But now, there is a personal passion in my testimony of God’s love of mankind. A professional (paint) artist for the past 11 years, wife of 18 1/2 years and mother to two grown sons, I find humor and purpose in my own trials, and I rejoice for having been taught great lessons. Not thinking myself any more special than any other person created of God, I try to bring meaning and purpose to others who have been stuck in doubt, hopelessness and despair. Through song and word, I hope that my message is changing the way people think about life and their own lives. With the release of my new CD, “God is Faithful”, I have been invited to South Africa to share God’s greatness and love. And I look forward to sharing anywhere with anyone. -- Juda Myers juda@juda4praise.com |
Pam Stenzel's Story -- Pam is a professional pro-life/abstinence
speaker and author of the book Sex Has A Price Tag. Her website is
www.pamstenzel.com.
In 1964, a fifteen year old girl was raped,
became pregnant, and decided to carry
her unborn child to term. Five months
after the baby girl was born, in an act of
courage and love the young mother
provided her child a better environment
by giving her to an adoptive family. That
child was Pam Stenzel. She is the oldest
of 8 children…7 adopted…1 biological,
and her extended family includes 38
adopted children in all.
Following her graduation from Liberty University with a degree in
psychology, Pam moved to Minneapolis, MN where she began to work
with New Life Family Services, and young girls who were planning to
place their children for adoption.
Pam was approached by a group of concerned parents, to develop a
two-hour program for the Rally for Life 1992, a conference on sexual
abstinence. She developed the program mixing media and music,
her own talk and the testimonies of young girls. The response of
students, parents and the community was so
overwhelming that Pam began to speaking full-time across the United
States.
In 1993, Pam’s talk, “Sex has a Price Tag”, was produced as a video.
No one was prepared for the explosive response. The video has
since been translated into 11 languages, won the Charleston Film
Festival Award in 1995 and is currently used in the US, Canada,
Mexico, Central and South America, Australia, Ireland, Europe, the
Ukraine, Romania, Poland and throughout Africa.
In 1998 Vision Video and Gateway films produced the film series,
“Sex, Love and Relationships” in Santa Monica, California. It won the
Crown Award for Curriculum of the Year in November 1999.
Pam’s current videography includes: “Time to Wait for Sex”, “Sex Has
a Price Tag 2000”, “Character Matters”, “Sex, Love and
Relationships” and “Take a Look in the Mirror”.
She is also the founder of Enlighten Communications, Inc. which is an
organization focused and committed to the betterment of children and
families in America and around the world. Enlighten offers a broad
new model approach for those desiring to embrace strong character
in today’s youth. Enlighten empower parents, youth leaders and
educators to lead informed discussions on sexual abstinence and the
benefits it produces.
Pam now travels both domestically and internationally, speaking to
over 500,000 teens a year. Surprisingly many of her requests to
speak come from teens themselves. She has been a guest on
numerous national TV and radio programs, including: “Hannity and
Combs”, “ABC Radio’s Sean Hannity Show”, “The Dr. Laura Show”,
“700 Club” (CBN), “Politically Incorrect”.
Pam is a dynamic, charismatic and educated expert on Sex, Love and
Relationships. She understands the perils that young people face as
they make adult choices, and is dedicated to reviving the character
and integrity of today’s youth.
speaker and author of the book Sex Has A Price Tag. Her website is
www.pamstenzel.com.
In 1964, a fifteen year old girl was raped,
became pregnant, and decided to carry
her unborn child to term. Five months
after the baby girl was born, in an act of
courage and love the young mother
provided her child a better environment
by giving her to an adoptive family. That
child was Pam Stenzel. She is the oldest
of 8 children…7 adopted…1 biological,
and her extended family includes 38
adopted children in all.
Following her graduation from Liberty University with a degree in
psychology, Pam moved to Minneapolis, MN where she began to work
with New Life Family Services, and young girls who were planning to
place their children for adoption.
Pam was approached by a group of concerned parents, to develop a
two-hour program for the Rally for Life 1992, a conference on sexual
abstinence. She developed the program mixing media and music,
her own talk and the testimonies of young girls. The response of
students, parents and the community was so
overwhelming that Pam began to speaking full-time across the United
States.
In 1993, Pam’s talk, “Sex has a Price Tag”, was produced as a video.
No one was prepared for the explosive response. The video has
since been translated into 11 languages, won the Charleston Film
Festival Award in 1995 and is currently used in the US, Canada,
Mexico, Central and South America, Australia, Ireland, Europe, the
Ukraine, Romania, Poland and throughout Africa.
In 1998 Vision Video and Gateway films produced the film series,
“Sex, Love and Relationships” in Santa Monica, California. It won the
Crown Award for Curriculum of the Year in November 1999.
Pam’s current videography includes: “Time to Wait for Sex”, “Sex Has
a Price Tag 2000”, “Character Matters”, “Sex, Love and
Relationships” and “Take a Look in the Mirror”.
She is also the founder of Enlighten Communications, Inc. which is an
organization focused and committed to the betterment of children and
families in America and around the world. Enlighten offers a broad
new model approach for those desiring to embrace strong character
in today’s youth. Enlighten empower parents, youth leaders and
educators to lead informed discussions on sexual abstinence and the
benefits it produces.
Pam now travels both domestically and internationally, speaking to
over 500,000 teens a year. Surprisingly many of her requests to
speak come from teens themselves. She has been a guest on
numerous national TV and radio programs, including: “Hannity and
Combs”, “ABC Radio’s Sean Hannity Show”, “The Dr. Laura Show”,
“700 Club” (CBN), “Politically Incorrect”.
Pam is a dynamic, charismatic and educated expert on Sex, Love and
Relationships. She understands the perils that young people face as
they make adult choices, and is dedicated to reviving the character
and integrity of today’s youth.
| This page is a compilation of life-affirming personal stories of men and women who were conceived in rape, and women who gave birth to children conceived in rape, including the following: Rebecca Kiessling from Michigan, Allison Shoup from Michigan, Kaylee Swanson from Pennsylvania, Liz Carl from Kentucky, Russell Saltzman from Missouri, Sharon Isley from Iowa, Bethaney Tessitore from Alabama, Jenni Maas with Human Life International, Tony Kiessling, Jaquese Gaskins from Michigan (attending college in California), "Godchaser" from Alabama, Juda Myers from Texas, Pam Stenzel with Enlighten Communications, Mary Payne from Oklahoma, Tim, and Heather Peterson-Grech from New Mexico. On the right, you'll also find links to other children born of rape stories. "The adult pregnancy rate associated with rape is estimated to be 4.7%. This information, in conjunction with estimates based on the U.S. Census, suggest that there may be 32,101 annual rape-related pregnancies among American women over the age of 18." -- Center for Diseases Control Rape Fact Sheet 2/2000. WE ARE NOT ALONE! For more information on Rebecca Kiessling, go to "Rebecca Kiessling Home". |
"Conceived in Rape: From Worthless to Priceless"
DVD of Rebecca Kiessling's Story -- $14.99 (90 minutes)
Now available on Rebecca Kiessling's home page
Rebecca Kiessling's story: Author of the Heritage House '76 pamphlet "Conceived in Rape: A Story of Hope"
I was adopted nearly from birth. At 18, I learned that I was conceived out of a
brutal rape at knife-point by a serial rapist. Like most people, I'd never
considered that abortion applied to my life, but once I received this information,
all of a sudden I realized that, not only does it apply to my life, but it has to do
with my very existence. It was as if I could hear the echoes of all those people
who, with the most sympathetic of tones, would say, “Well, except in cases of
rape. . . ," or who would rather fervently exclaim in disgust: “Especially is cases
of rape!!!” All these people are out there who don’t even know me, but are
standing in judgment of my life, so quick to dismiss it just because of how I was
conceived. I felt like I was now going to have to justify my own existence, that I
would have to prove myself to the world that I shouldn’t have been aborted and
that I was worthy of living. I also remember feeling like garbage because of
people who would say that my life was like garbage -- that I was disposable.
Please understand that whenever you identify yourself as being “pro-choice,” or
whenever you make that exception for rape, what that really translates into is you
being able to stand before me, look me in the eye, and say to me, "I think your
mother should have been able to abort you.” That’s a pretty powerful statement.
I would never say anything like that to someone. I would never say to someone, “If I
had my way, you’d be dead right now.” But that is the reality with which I live. I
challenge anyone to describe for me how it's not. It’s not like people say, “Oh
well, I’m pro-choice except for that little window of opportunity in 1968/69, so that
you, Rebecca, could have been born.” No -- this is the ruthless reality of that position, and I can tell you that it hurts
and it’s mean. But I know that most people don’t put a face to this issue. For them, it’s just a concept – a quick cliché,
and they sweep it under the rug and forget about it. I do hope that, as a child of rape, I can help to put a face and a
voice to this issue.
I've often experienced those who would confront me and try to dismiss me with quick quips like, “Oh well, you were
lucky!” Be sure that my survival has nothing to do with luck. The fact that I’m alive today has to do with choices that
were made by our society at large, people who fought to ensure abortion was illegal in Michigan at the time – even in
cases of rape, people who argued to protect my life, and people who voted pro-life. I wasn’t lucky. I was protected.
And would you really rationalize that our brothers and sisters who are being aborted every day are just somehow
"unlucky"?!!
Although my birthmother was thrilled to meet me, she did tell me that she actually went to two back-alley abortionists
and I was almost aborted. After the rape, the police referred her to a counselor who basically told her that abortion was
the thing to do. She said there were no crisis pregnancy centers back then, but my birthmother assured me that if
there had been, she would have gone if at least for a little more guidance. The rape counselor is the one who set her
up with the back-alley abortionists. For the first, she said it was the typical back-alley conditions that you hear about as
to why "she should have been able to safely and legally abort" me -- blood and dirt all over the table and floor. Those
back-alley conditions and the fact that it was illegal caused her to back out, as with most women.
Then she got hooked up with a more expensive abortionist. This time she was to meet someone at night by the Detroit
Institute of Arts. Someone would approach her, say her name, blindfold her, put her in the backseat of a car, take her
and then abort me . . . , then blindfold her again and drop her back off. And do you know what I think is so pathetic? It’
s that I know there are an awful lot of people out there who would hear me describe those conditions and their
response would just be a pitiful shake of the head in disgust: “It’s just so awful that your birthmother should have had
to have gone through that in order to have been able to abort you!” Like that’s compassionate?!! I fully realize that
they think they are being compassionate, but that’s pretty cold-hearted from where I stand, don’t you think? That is my
life that they are so callously talking about and there is nothing compassionate about that position. My birthmother is
okay – her life went on and in fact, she's doing great, but I would have been killed, my life would have been ended. I
may not look the same as I did when I was four years old or four days old yet unborn in my mother’s womb, but that was
still undeniably me and I would have been killed through a brutal abortion.
According to the research of Dr. David Reardon, director of the Elliot Institute, co-editor of the book Victims and
Victors: Speaking Out About Their Pregnancies, Abortions and Children Resulting From Sexual Assault, and author of
the article "Rape, Incest and Abortion: Searching Beyond the Myths," most women who become pregnant out of sexual
assault do not want an abortion and are in fact worse-off after an abortion. http://www.afterabortion.org. So most
people's position on abortion in cases of rape is based upon faulty premises: 1) the rape victim would want an
abortion, 2) she'd be better off with an abortion and 3) that child's life just isn't worth having to put her through the
pregnancy. I hope that my story, and the other stories posted on this site, will be able to help dispel that last myth.
I wish I could say that my birthmother was with the majority of victims and that she didn't want to abort me, but she had
been convinced otherwise. However, the nasty disposition and foul mouth of this second back-alley abortionist, along
with a fear for her own safety, caused her to back out. When she told him by phone that she wasn't interested in this
risky arrangement, this abortion doctor insulted her and called her names. To her surprise, he called again the next
day to try to talk her into aborting me once again, and again she declined and was hurled insults. So that was it -- after
that she just couldn’t go through with it. My birthmother was then heading into her second trimester – far more
dangerous, far more expensive to have me aborted.
I’m so thankful my life was spared, but a lot of well-meaning Christians would say things to me like, “Well you see, God
really meant for you to be here!” Or others may say, "You were meant to be here." But I know that God intends for
every unborn child to be given the same opportunity to be born, and I can’t sit contentedly saying, “Well, at least my life
was spared.” Or, “I deserved it. Look what I’ve done with my life.” And millions of others didn’t? I can’t do that. Can
you? Can you just sit there and say, “At least I was wanted . . . at least I’m alive . . . ,” or just, “Whatever!”? Is that
really the kind of person who you want to be? Cold-hearted? A facade of compassion on the exterior, but stone-cold
and vacated from within? Do you claim to care about women but couldn't care less about me because I stand as a
reminder of something you'd rather not face and that you'd hate for others to consider either? Do I not fit your agenda?
In law school, I’d also have classmates say things to me like, “Oh well! If you’d been aborted, you wouldn’t be here
today, and you wouldn’t know the difference anyway, so what does it matter?” Believe it or not, some of the top pro-
abortion philosophers use that same kind of argument: “The fetus never knows what hits him, so there’s no such fetus
to miss his life.” So I guess as long as you stab someone in the back while he’s sleeping, then it’s okay, because he
doesn’t know what hits him?! I’d explain to my classmates how their same logic would justify “me killing you today,
because you wouldn’t be here tomorrow, and you wouldn’t know the difference anyway, so what does it matter?" And
they’d just stand their with their jaws dropped. It’s amazing what a little logic can do, when you really think this thing
through – like we were supposed to be doing in law school – and consider what we’re really talking about: there are
lives who are not here today because they were aborted. It’s like the old saying: “If a tree falls in the forest, and no
one is around to hear it, does it make a noise?” Well, yeah! And if a baby is aborted, and no one else is around to
know about it, does it matter? The answer is, “YES! Their lives matter. My life matters. Your life matters and don’t let
anyone tell you otherwise!
The world is a different place because it was illegal for my birthmother to abort me back then. Your life is different
because she could not legally abort me because you are sitting here reading my words today! But you don’t have to
have an impact on audiences for your life to matter. There is something we are all missing here today because of the
generations now who have been aborted and it matters.
One of the greatest things I’ve learned is that the rapist is NOT my creator, as some people would have me believe. My
value and identity are not established as a “product of rape,” but a child of God. Psalm 68:5,6 declares: “A father to
the fatherless . . . is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families.” And Psalm 27:10 tells us “Though my
father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.” I know that there is no stigma in being adopted. We are told
in the New Testament that it is in the spirit of adoption that we are called to be God’s children through Christ our Lord.
So He must have thought pretty highly of adoption to use that as a picture of His love for us!
Most importantly, I’ve learned, I’ll be able to teach my children, and I teach others that your value is not based on the
circumstances of your conception, your parents, your siblings, your mate, your house, your clothes, your looks, your
IQ, your grades, your scores, your money, your occupation, your successes or failures, or your abilities or disabilities –
these are the lies that are perpetuated in our society. In fact, most motivational speakers tell their audiences that if
they could just make something of themselves and meet this certain societal standard, then they too could “be
somebody.” But the fact is that no one could ever meet all of these ridiculous standards, and many people will fall
incredibly short and so, does that mean that they’re not “somebody” or that they’re “nobody?” The truth is that you
don't have to prove your worth to anyone, and if you really want to know what your value is, all you have to do is look to
the Cross – because that’s the price that was paid for you life! That’s the infinite value that God placed on your life!
He thinks you are pretty valuable, and so do I. Won't you join me in affirming others' value as well, in word and in
action?
For those of you who would say, "Well, I don't believe in God and I don't believe in the Bible, so I'm pro-choice," please
read my essay, "The Right of the Unborn Child Not to be Unjustly Killed -- a philosophy of rights approach." I assure
you, it will be worth your time.
For Life,
Rebecca Kiessling
rebecca@rebeccakiessling.com
DVD of Rebecca Kiessling's Story -- $14.99 (90 minutes)
Now available on Rebecca Kiessling's home page
Rebecca Kiessling's story: Author of the Heritage House '76 pamphlet "Conceived in Rape: A Story of Hope"
I was adopted nearly from birth. At 18, I learned that I was conceived out of a
brutal rape at knife-point by a serial rapist. Like most people, I'd never
considered that abortion applied to my life, but once I received this information,
all of a sudden I realized that, not only does it apply to my life, but it has to do
with my very existence. It was as if I could hear the echoes of all those people
who, with the most sympathetic of tones, would say, “Well, except in cases of
rape. . . ," or who would rather fervently exclaim in disgust: “Especially is cases
of rape!!!” All these people are out there who don’t even know me, but are
standing in judgment of my life, so quick to dismiss it just because of how I was
conceived. I felt like I was now going to have to justify my own existence, that I
would have to prove myself to the world that I shouldn’t have been aborted and
that I was worthy of living. I also remember feeling like garbage because of
people who would say that my life was like garbage -- that I was disposable.
Please understand that whenever you identify yourself as being “pro-choice,” or
whenever you make that exception for rape, what that really translates into is you
being able to stand before me, look me in the eye, and say to me, "I think your
mother should have been able to abort you.” That’s a pretty powerful statement.
I would never say anything like that to someone. I would never say to someone, “If I
had my way, you’d be dead right now.” But that is the reality with which I live. I
challenge anyone to describe for me how it's not. It’s not like people say, “Oh
well, I’m pro-choice except for that little window of opportunity in 1968/69, so that
you, Rebecca, could have been born.” No -- this is the ruthless reality of that position, and I can tell you that it hurts
and it’s mean. But I know that most people don’t put a face to this issue. For them, it’s just a concept – a quick cliché,
and they sweep it under the rug and forget about it. I do hope that, as a child of rape, I can help to put a face and a
voice to this issue.
I've often experienced those who would confront me and try to dismiss me with quick quips like, “Oh well, you were
lucky!” Be sure that my survival has nothing to do with luck. The fact that I’m alive today has to do with choices that
were made by our society at large, people who fought to ensure abortion was illegal in Michigan at the time – even in
cases of rape, people who argued to protect my life, and people who voted pro-life. I wasn’t lucky. I was protected.
And would you really rationalize that our brothers and sisters who are being aborted every day are just somehow
"unlucky"?!!
Although my birthmother was thrilled to meet me, she did tell me that she actually went to two back-alley abortionists
and I was almost aborted. After the rape, the police referred her to a counselor who basically told her that abortion was
the thing to do. She said there were no crisis pregnancy centers back then, but my birthmother assured me that if
there had been, she would have gone if at least for a little more guidance. The rape counselor is the one who set her
up with the back-alley abortionists. For the first, she said it was the typical back-alley conditions that you hear about as
to why "she should have been able to safely and legally abort" me -- blood and dirt all over the table and floor. Those
back-alley conditions and the fact that it was illegal caused her to back out, as with most women.
Then she got hooked up with a more expensive abortionist. This time she was to meet someone at night by the Detroit
Institute of Arts. Someone would approach her, say her name, blindfold her, put her in the backseat of a car, take her
and then abort me . . . , then blindfold her again and drop her back off. And do you know what I think is so pathetic? It’
s that I know there are an awful lot of people out there who would hear me describe those conditions and their
response would just be a pitiful shake of the head in disgust: “It’s just so awful that your birthmother should have had
to have gone through that in order to have been able to abort you!” Like that’s compassionate?!! I fully realize that
they think they are being compassionate, but that’s pretty cold-hearted from where I stand, don’t you think? That is my
life that they are so callously talking about and there is nothing compassionate about that position. My birthmother is
okay – her life went on and in fact, she's doing great, but I would have been killed, my life would have been ended. I
may not look the same as I did when I was four years old or four days old yet unborn in my mother’s womb, but that was
still undeniably me and I would have been killed through a brutal abortion.
According to the research of Dr. David Reardon, director of the Elliot Institute, co-editor of the book Victims and
Victors: Speaking Out About Their Pregnancies, Abortions and Children Resulting From Sexual Assault, and author of
the article "Rape, Incest and Abortion: Searching Beyond the Myths," most women who become pregnant out of sexual
assault do not want an abortion and are in fact worse-off after an abortion. http://www.afterabortion.org. So most
people's position on abortion in cases of rape is based upon faulty premises: 1) the rape victim would want an
abortion, 2) she'd be better off with an abortion and 3) that child's life just isn't worth having to put her through the
pregnancy. I hope that my story, and the other stories posted on this site, will be able to help dispel that last myth.
I wish I could say that my birthmother was with the majority of victims and that she didn't want to abort me, but she had
been convinced otherwise. However, the nasty disposition and foul mouth of this second back-alley abortionist, along
with a fear for her own safety, caused her to back out. When she told him by phone that she wasn't interested in this
risky arrangement, this abortion doctor insulted her and called her names. To her surprise, he called again the next
day to try to talk her into aborting me once again, and again she declined and was hurled insults. So that was it -- after
that she just couldn’t go through with it. My birthmother was then heading into her second trimester – far more
dangerous, far more expensive to have me aborted.
I’m so thankful my life was spared, but a lot of well-meaning Christians would say things to me like, “Well you see, God
really meant for you to be here!” Or others may say, "You were meant to be here." But I know that God intends for
every unborn child to be given the same opportunity to be born, and I can’t sit contentedly saying, “Well, at least my life
was spared.” Or, “I deserved it. Look what I’ve done with my life.” And millions of others didn’t? I can’t do that. Can
you? Can you just sit there and say, “At least I was wanted . . . at least I’m alive . . . ,” or just, “Whatever!”? Is that
really the kind of person who you want to be? Cold-hearted? A facade of compassion on the exterior, but stone-cold
and vacated from within? Do you claim to care about women but couldn't care less about me because I stand as a
reminder of something you'd rather not face and that you'd hate for others to consider either? Do I not fit your agenda?
In law school, I’d also have classmates say things to me like, “Oh well! If you’d been aborted, you wouldn’t be here
today, and you wouldn’t know the difference anyway, so what does it matter?” Believe it or not, some of the top pro-
abortion philosophers use that same kind of argument: “The fetus never knows what hits him, so there’s no such fetus
to miss his life.” So I guess as long as you stab someone in the back while he’s sleeping, then it’s okay, because he
doesn’t know what hits him?! I’d explain to my classmates how their same logic would justify “me killing you today,
because you wouldn’t be here tomorrow, and you wouldn’t know the difference anyway, so what does it matter?" And
they’d just stand their with their jaws dropped. It’s amazing what a little logic can do, when you really think this thing
through – like we were supposed to be doing in law school – and consider what we’re really talking about: there are
lives who are not here today because they were aborted. It’s like the old saying: “If a tree falls in the forest, and no
one is around to hear it, does it make a noise?” Well, yeah! And if a baby is aborted, and no one else is around to
know about it, does it matter? The answer is, “YES! Their lives matter. My life matters. Your life matters and don’t let
anyone tell you otherwise!
The world is a different place because it was illegal for my birthmother to abort me back then. Your life is different
because she could not legally abort me because you are sitting here reading my words today! But you don’t have to
have an impact on audiences for your life to matter. There is something we are all missing here today because of the
generations now who have been aborted and it matters.
One of the greatest things I’ve learned is that the rapist is NOT my creator, as some people would have me believe. My
value and identity are not established as a “product of rape,” but a child of God. Psalm 68:5,6 declares: “A father to
the fatherless . . . is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families.” And Psalm 27:10 tells us “Though my
father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.” I know that there is no stigma in being adopted. We are told
in the New Testament that it is in the spirit of adoption that we are called to be God’s children through Christ our Lord.
So He must have thought pretty highly of adoption to use that as a picture of His love for us!
Most importantly, I’ve learned, I’ll be able to teach my children, and I teach others that your value is not based on the
circumstances of your conception, your parents, your siblings, your mate, your house, your clothes, your looks, your
IQ, your grades, your scores, your money, your occupation, your successes or failures, or your abilities or disabilities –
these are the lies that are perpetuated in our society. In fact, most motivational speakers tell their audiences that if
they could just make something of themselves and meet this certain societal standard, then they too could “be
somebody.” But the fact is that no one could ever meet all of these ridiculous standards, and many people will fall
incredibly short and so, does that mean that they’re not “somebody” or that they’re “nobody?” The truth is that you
don't have to prove your worth to anyone, and if you really want to know what your value is, all you have to do is look to
the Cross – because that’s the price that was paid for you life! That’s the infinite value that God placed on your life!
He thinks you are pretty valuable, and so do I. Won't you join me in affirming others' value as well, in word and in
action?
For those of you who would say, "Well, I don't believe in God and I don't believe in the Bible, so I'm pro-choice," please
read my essay, "The Right of the Unborn Child Not to be Unjustly Killed -- a philosophy of rights approach." I assure
you, it will be worth your time.
For Life,
Rebecca Kiessling
rebecca@rebeccakiessling.com
Jennifer Bowman's Story,
Founder of Stigma, an on-line
support group for those
conceived in rape or incest and
for women who became
pregnant out of rape or incest
Founder of Stigma, an on-line
support group for those
conceived in rape or incest and
for women who became
pregnant out of rape or incest
Jaquese Gaskins, conceived in rape, from Detroit, Mi (attending
college in Redding, California) Author of "I'm the One" Breaking the
Generational Curse
Throughout the years I knew that I was different. I only had one friend
which is still my only best friend. I was just the quiet smart girl in
school. I feel in this past year I have overcome most of the
generational curses that lie deep
within my family history and I felt
that it was time to break them.
By me writing this book, I feel that
I have a closer relationship with
God. I also believe that this book
can help someone break some
of the generational curses that
they are struggling with.
My major is Biology and my
minor is Bible and Theology.
I plan on going to medical school
and becoming an OB/GYN. I do
believe that my background has
influenced my career path. I feel
that it is my duty to bring life into
this world.
-- Jaquese Gaskins
(more details to come soon)
college in Redding, California) Author of "I'm the One" Breaking the
Generational Curse
Throughout the years I knew that I was different. I only had one friend
which is still my only best friend. I was just the quiet smart girl in
school. I feel in this past year I have overcome most of the
generational curses that lie deep
within my family history and I felt
that it was time to break them.
By me writing this book, I feel that
I have a closer relationship with
God. I also believe that this book
can help someone break some
of the generational curses that
they are struggling with.
My major is Biology and my
minor is Bible and Theology.
I plan on going to medical school
and becoming an OB/GYN. I do
believe that my background has
influenced my career path. I feel
that it is my duty to bring life into
this world.
-- Jaquese Gaskins
(more details to come soon)
| "Godchaser" -- born out of rape, a teenaged young man from Mobile, Alabama What can I say -- my life is like a movie and it's definitely a "sequel drama." I have been abandoned by every father I have ever had. So I get the privilege of calling God my true father. I was born out of rape, and I have fought in spiritual warfare since I was seven. I am the lead Guitarist in a band called 4NAILS. The Lord has blessed me with the ability to write novels that He has inspired. I live fully focused on Him, praying for my family. All my life I've been proof that God does indeed exist. If it wasn't for my mother and Christ, I would be dead by now. I was what most of the world would see as a mistake, a child born out of rape with no father. In a nutshell, almost everyone I ever trusted has lied to me. I always wanted a father as a little boy. At 2-1/2, I was praying for a dad. I never got one who would always be there for me. My mom knew of my prayers and when she was asked to marry, she accepted not for love, but for me. 5 years later, the man had me bad mouthing my mom behind her back, causing me to stay 4 years younger than my actual age. My mom found some child porn one day in one of his suitcases and we figured out later that he molested my step-brothers and possibly was out for me. I have never "fit in," but I have always had friends. The Lord is still testing me and I am struggling, but He has given me one of the most precious gifts -- he filled my heart with all the fatherly love I have ever missed, and it all happened at once. Maybe if it wasn't for that, I wouldn't be alive now or later on, but I would have eventually died had it not been for that moment. No one could ever tell me God doesn't exist. My mom recently had to have her spleen removed and my "Paw Paw" has had a couple of strokes. I am currently living with my grandparents praying for patience and clarity. I have come very far in the past few years, but ultimately, it's not quite there yet, but it will be. It seems that I have finally hit an upward slope. Downhill is not my option. I am currently writing three novels -- two of those are the launch of a trilogy. These past few years have rewarded me by allowing me to work with Mobile Masters Commision at House of Horrors. It is a Christian horror house that ends up drawing people into Christ. For those who don't know Masters, it is a group you can join some time after high school that takes you all over the world ministering. During this time, you are also taken through a radical life-changing experience that not only shows you, but thousands of school kids and foreigners, that God is all powerful and we truly can do anything through Him. I myself am planning on taking this commitment after high school. My goals in life are to become a writer of novels that will save millions, to follow Christ's role and become like Him as far as sin goes,to master the guitar, to do good in school, to be the best I can be, to find peace, to get a house of my own, and to help anyone I meet who needs it. I don't support abortion, but I won't go against the people doing it by running them down. It's murder -- no two ways about it. There is a statistic that over one-third of my generation is dead because of abortion. Less than one percent of that came from rape. My views on it should be clear from that . . . I could have had a best friend that I didn't because someone wasn't willing to give the child up for adoption or something rather than kill the baby. This is not even a fraction of my whole testimony, but I pray it does help someone. To all who read this -- God bless, and you're not alone. As for my picture, I have not included one because I feel my testimony is for everyone to maybe see some of their own face in this and not mine. God bless, "Godchaser" http://www.jcfaith.com/Godchaser |
| Allison Shoup's story, conceived in rape from a severely developmentally- disabled birthmother. Allison is from Michigan, is available for speaking, and can be reached at ashoup85@aol.com Over and over I have heard the arguments on why abortion should be legal. Even those who do not count themselves in the 'women's rights' category often agree that in tragic cases a woman has the right to dispose of her unborn baby. Among the most popular of these 'justified' reasons for abortion are rape, the potential handicap of a child, and the financial burden that the child will bring. Each time I hear these arguments, I cringe. But, instead of merely telling them the blanket statement that "all life is important," I share with them the following true story and allow them to make their decision about whether a life should be taken because of another's mistake. An older couple lived a long, hard life. Raising a daughter with a severe mental handicap brought both joys and trials. God helped them through it all, but this was just one more trial these elderly people had to bear. As they sat in the doctor's office, their worst nightmare came true; their daughter was pregnant. To make matters worse, the baby's father didn't want anything to do with the baby. He was a Native American, living on a reservation. Alcohol had enslaved him, and he was too numb to care. He just wanted the woman to have an abortion and get rid of the child altogether. After all, the mother was so severely handicapped that she didn't even know she was pregnant, and her parents were too old to raise the baby. He cared only about his addiction—alcohol. The parents were fully aware of this. They also were concerned that the child could end up with the same mental disability as their daughter. They could not bear to have the unborn child live a life like their daughter's. They also knew that there were few to no families willing to adopt a child who had or could develop a cognitive disability. Over and over, these things weighed on their minds. Time passed. It had been a very long nine months, but God's grace sustained them through it. Despite all the odds, they knew that abortion was murder. They couldn't live knowing that they had taken an innocent life. They decided to place the baby for adoption and prayed that a loving couple would be willing to accept what could be a less-than-normal child. Being Christians, they requested that the child be put in a Christian home, and they knew that the caseworker would do her best to find a great family for their precious baby girl. Little did they know what was happening only miles from where the baby was born. There was a young couple named Tim and Betty who had been married for 13 years but were unable to have children. They wanted children so badly that they applied for adoption. As they waited, they just couldn't understand why people would have abortions while knowing that there were couples out there that wanted children. It was so cruel, so unjust. They were about to give up and settle with the idea of never having children, but soon that all changed. Tim loved running local road races that supported charities, and Betty always cheered him on as he raced to the finish. July 22, 1985, was no different. That day Tim was running the Toury Mott Run, a race to raise money for Hurley Hospital's Children's Center. As Tim crossed the finish line right in front of the hospital, he walked over to Betty. He knew that she had been very discouraged about not being able to have a baby. It had been two years since they had applied for adoption, yet they still hadn't heard anything. So he pulled her aside, pointed up to the hospital window and said, "You never know. Our baby might be up there right now." Amazingly, he was right. The woman had given birth early that morning, and by that time the child was in the baby care unit. Fourteen months later, Tim and Betty brought that baby girl home to stay. That little baby that could have been aborted—that little baby whose birth father had raped her mentally handicapped birth mother; that little baby whose mother thought she was a doll; that baby whose grandparents were too old to be able to take care of her; that little baby whom everyone thought could have had a severe handicap; that little baby whom God had given life. That little baby, who is alive and healthy, is the author of this story. Let me ask you, "Was my life not worth saving? Should I have died merely because of all of these tragedies that led up to my birth?" Absolutely not! Just because a child may have a handicap or disability does not mean his or her life is worth less than anyone else's. According to the United States Declaration of Independence, "All men are created equal and are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness." These rights rang through our country until January 22, 1973. In the case, Roe vs. Wade, the Supreme Court legalized abortion -- stripping innocent children of the very first right mentioned in the Declaration of Independence. It was a ruling that allowed a saline solution to be injected into the baby for the purpose of burning it to death, and it paved the way for doctors to stick a tube in the child's head and vacuum out its tiny brain. And all this is done because two adults don't want to have to deal with the inconvenience of having a child. Nevertheless, what about that child? Why should the baby have to pay with his or her life? Many times I have heard pro-abortionists argue that abortion is the expression of a woman's rights -- to ban abortion would be to take away her rights. What about that baby girl that she is carrying inside of her? What happened to that little woman's rights? What about the little boy who never had the chance to grow up and make something of his life? Why should one person's rights be sacrificed because they are an 'inconvenience' to another? If a couple feels that they cannot provide the life that their baby deserves, abortion is never the answer. Just like my parents, many couples want to have a child and would provide a wonderful home for that baby. Instead of selfishly killing another human life, why not do the most sacrificial act and give that innocent child the chance of a wonderful life that he or she deserves? Many women have faced a tragic pregnancy. Perhaps they were raped and wish to get rid of the painful memories altogether. Sometimes women are afraid that their child will be abnormal and do not want to bring a less-than-perfect child into this brutal society. Many people are afraid that they will not be able to financially support a child. Thus, thousands of innocent children are murdered each year under the umbrella of 'freedom of choice.' However, it is time that we teach these adults that all life is equally important. Just because a couple may not want the child does not mean that child should be denied the right to 'life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.' -- Allison Shoup |
Dr. Lyrica Joy Smith's story,
President, Founder and Artistic
Director of Kingdom Arts
International and an apostolic
pastor
President, Founder and Artistic
Director of Kingdom Arts
International and an apostolic
pastor
http://projectcuddleinfo.blogspot.
com/ -- adopted baby conceived
in rape
com/ -- adopted baby conceived
in rape
| This is a poem called "You" by Heather Peterson-Grech who was attacked and raped by a stranger, and then became pregnant and chose life for her daughter -- a decision she does not regret. "You" You… how dare you… Who do you think I am? Not a person? I do not have feelings? Yes I feel, I feel anger, Hate and long to see you hurt I want to push your face into the ground I want to make you feel fear so strong That you cannot make a sound I want you to cry and plead, and then tell you to shut-up! I want you to feel even the smallest amount of pain I feel To push, and pull, to make you throw up… On the ground, I will watch you lie, helpless and afraid I want to say to you all of the things you said to me To make you fear the night and hate the day I want to walk away with a laugh, feeling oh so proud of myself While you lie naked, cold, and helpless on the ground Pleading, screaming, with no sound… For help that never comes around… I want you to feel dirty, so dirty no water Can ever make you clean, scrub and scrub No matter what, the filth you leave is mean I want you to know that you did not win, I will never let this take me For what came to be from that night, you will never see You will never see her smile, or hold her in your arms You will never watch her take a step, or protect her from any harm You will never hear the words “I love you", you will never hold her on your lap You will never see a paper with a gold star; you will never see that graduation cap You will never hear wedding bells, or the cry of her newborn babe, You are not her father, out of love this child was made For this little girl is a gift from God, oh how blessed am I That he chose me to be her Mother, while on that cold dark ground I did lie He saw that she would need me and I her, and you were just a vessel Get on your knees, pray very hard, while on your way to meet the Devil I cannot forgive you yet for the pain, you caused me on that freezing night, One day it will come, one day soon enough, Until then, I hope I will be all right……… -- Heather Peterson-Grech, New Mexico mytenzie@aol.com |
| Liz Carl’s story – a 19 year old birthmom from Kentucky who became pregnant out of rape I was raped when I was 17, in my senior year of high school – a little over two years ago. I was visited friends in Lexington, KY, about 100 miles from where I live for a Halloween party. After the party, we were all naive enough to have people from the party come back and visit the house where I was staying. In the middle of the night, I was drugged and raped. Only recently have I remembered anything from that night. I met the rapist the night it happened. He gave me a different name than his real name (as I later found out when I went to the police), so I didn't really know him at all. As much as I convinced myself that nothing happened to me that night in Lexington, I know my body. I was sore, the signs were there, and I felt gross. I attempted to pretend it was a dream. I don't remember any of the actual rape. However, I do remember crawling to the bathroom at some point and being really messed up. I guess I didn't know for sure I was raped until I missed my period. I wasn't sexually active, so it didn’t take much to connect the dots and figure out what I already knew inside. I knew something was up, but I denied the rape to myself for a very long time. In this denial, I obviously didn't even think I was pregnant, even though I knew very well that I was. I never thought anything like that would happen to me in the first place, much less getting pregnant from such a disgusting, violent act. It was not only ridiculous attempting to tell my mom and family, who believed me and helped me, but it was almost funny how many people I told who told other people I was lying, "because I got caught." I can't even explain how awful everything was for me. I wanted to die -- I just couldn't find the strength to do it. My parents were not the people I went to first. My parents are great, but that was not news for them to take lightly, at all! But once I did tell them, they were in just about as much of denial as I was, there really wasn’t advice. They more wanted to take care of the legal things -- dealing with the detectives and the court proceedings -- and to get me to a doctor. Before all of this happened, I was always “pro-life.” I was raised in a Catholic family and attended Catholic schools my whole life. However, when I finally took the pregnancy test that was very clearly positive, all my values and morals went out the window and I absolutely wanted the easy fix. I was for sure getting an abortion for maybe a week before I realized what the hell I was doing. I was vulnerable and miserable and scared and I felt that was my only option. Seeing everything now, I hate myself for ever even considering it. Out of the friends who knew about me being pregnant in the very beginning, two of them supported the abortion and two did not. One from each side was proactive about it. My one friend who was supporting my decision to abort told me that she would help pay for it, drive me, etc.. She was also looking into getting a doctor friend of her sister’s to prescribe the abortion pill for me. She was just a 17 year old girl who was scared along with me. She wanted to help me get better and didn't know what else to do. I was scared and I wanted an abortion, so she stood behind me. She's told me since that she never wanted me to choose abortion, but that she just saw that it was what I wanted. She felt she was helping as a loyal friend. My pro-life friend sat me down with her mother who had several friends who had abortions in high school and several friends who gave their babies up for adoption, and she told me how that affected each one of them. She didn't persuade me, but just told me some facts. When I was still in shock and decision mode, my cousin Erin, who happens to be one of my very good friends, looked me in the eye and said, “Liz, you're smart and you know that's a baby, and you know yourself, you can't kill a baby. “ She was right. I was smart and I couldn't see the obvious through the thick layer of fog that seemed to never leave my eyes. I obviously went through with the pregnancy, mostly denying my baby’s existence, but I got through it. My pregnancy was a mess. Medically it was a perfect pregnancy, but I just couldn't seem to believe that I was pregnant. I didn't start showing at all for probably seven months, so this was easy to do. Being pregnant in school is not fun, but it’s not the worst thing ever. Finishing school was not easy, especially at an all-girl Catholic high school, but it was doable. It was not pleasant, but I survived. My mom took me to Catholic Social Services and I started counseling with them. That absolutely helped me through my pregnancy. If nothing else, my counselor made me think about it, which helped when I actually did start showing and couldn't ignore it anymore. The agency worked with pregnant mothers for parenting and adopting. They introduced me to the idea of open adoption and it seemed so perfect. It's obviously not perfect, but it’s the next-best thing. I ended up talking to a teacher at school who I was close to. She called a friend who called a friend and the next thing I knew, I was at Brian and Jen’s house talking with them. I had interviewed another couple before them, but when I met Brian and Jen, I just knew that they were the ones. They were perfect for me! They agreed on an open adoption. They had tried for many years to have a family and they had many false hopes. Brian and Jen are a part of my family now. (As I write this, I just got back from their house for a dinner and play time with Brayden.) I delivered my birth son a month before I left for college. My delivery was cake compared to some. When I actually felt like I was in labor, it was time to push and when I did, three pushes later he was here. I think I was in more shock that a human being came out of me than anything else. When I saw him, I didn't think about how he got here. I didn't think about his long lost biological father who would never ever be in his life. I only thought how perfect he was. When I first held him, it was more perfect than ever. I think I denied his existence probably up until the moment I held him. It was hard though -- the whole situation. Everything about it was hard. But the hardships just didn't seem like anything compared to the love for that little boy. Brayden is almost a year and half now and he is the love of my life! He does not remind me of the violence that happened to conceive him like many pro-choicers say. He means the world to me. Now, I am truly 100% pro-life. I have experienced many aspects of the pro-choice argument and I know that life is not only the best choice – it should be the only choice. Brayden, my birth son, is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me and to so many other people -- especially his two thrilled new parents! This is why I would do anything in the world to save every baby in this world! I was raped. Yes. But he deserves to live! It's easy to ignore something that you cannot see. But I can see him now and he deserves everything in this world. I no longer care who is biological father is, he is nothing. He is long gone. But look who came because of him. I don't care who you are, this beautiful little boy SHOULD be alive! Women should not have to face a choice that they will regret. It seems as though America is running into a dark hole, where morality is gone and foggy vision encompasses all of our known beliefs. Stand up as an American and turn you back on that black hole. Regain your vision and see the light at the end. Abortion will be illegal someday. We just have to keep fighting. Sorry if anyone thinks this is weird, but I feel like I have to keep fighting, to make people understand. And that cute face sure does get attention!! My son is bi-racial. I'm white. The rapist was black. I am a very open person, so the bi-racial thing didn't even phase me. And as far as Brayden being a boy, I know people say they would only see the rapist, but honestly anyone who is a mother would know that all you see is this perfect little baby. I think Brayden looks like me in a lot of ways, but he has brown eyes and his skin is darker than mine. But when I look at him, I see a beautiful baby boy, who I love so much. I do not see his brown eyes or tan skin, or even his nose that does not fit with mine. I see a precious gift that I am so thankful for. I guess something like that is hard to explain to someone, but I can guarantee that no mother should look at their baby and see the awful person who violated them. A mother sees her child, who she unconditionally loves. Eventually, Brayden will know that he was conceived in rape, and I don't know how that will affect him. But my thought is, that just because he was not conceived in an act of love -- or a wanted act at all -- he is still a precious human being who is deserving of life and everything in it. In fact, I can say that ultimately one thing has saved me from severe, severe depression, and that is my baby. And as to anyone who has been conceived in rape -- you should never consider them less of people. I felt like less of a person for a long time until I saw the beauty in the darkness. Precious babies that come from something as awful as rape should be considered a saving grace, a blessing in disguise. I would be nowhere without that awful pregnancy. I am not one to want to be involved in everything, but I do like to be a part of something. Honestly I had no idea that the University of Louisville had a pro-life group until one day I got a Facebook message from a girl in the group inviting me to a meeting. I seriously felt like God Facebooked me! I was obviously very pro- life after I saw how easy it was to make a decision you don't mean to make. I love the Cards for LIFE! I love the events. I love the people. I'm probably a little less conservative than them in some issues, but they don't care. They accept me for who I am, and we share a very special bond because they agree with me on the one thing that I would absolutely fight the rest of my life for, and that’s the unborn. I think that most pro-lifers are very taken back when they find out I am a birthmom from rape. I've had people cry, people I hardly knew hug me (which I never mind a hug) and I have had people who have been really awkward about it. The awkward ones are a lot of people who think that it would have been okay for me to have an abortion. It’s like they don’t know what to do with me. Most of the pro-choice people who find out I’m a birthmom “from rape” always try to dismiss me by saying I have it better than others. They try to tell me that my family was supportive and not all people have that, or they would say, “Just because you're strong doesn't mean everyone is.” To be honest, it's degrading to me as a woman when people make excuses of women’s lack of strength. I know a lot of women and every single one of them is strong. Every woman is strong enough to love her baby enough not to kill it. That last sentence may sound sort of harsh, but I am not a judging person -- I know the vulnerability of a crisis situation, but the truth is the truth, and every woman has the strength to love her baby. And Rebecca, I think the world of you, not only because you speak out and make a difference to so make people, but because I relate you to Brayden, someone who saved my life, and that's beautiful. It's so awesome that you are here in this world touching so many people. I hope to do the same. Liz Carl Liz is available for speaking and can be reached at Liz12888@yahoo.com |
Heather Gemmen, author of "A
Startling Beauty: My Journey
from Rape to Restoration" or
watch Finding Beauty After
Rape (You Tube Video)
Startling Beauty: My Journey
from Rape to Restoration" or
watch Finding Beauty After
Rape (You Tube Video)
| Kaylee Swanson's Story -- a birthmother who became pregnant out of rape. Kaylee is available for speaking – kaylee.swanson@yahoo.com I grew up as a "Christian," but it took a hard time in my life to make me actually have a relationship with God. After high school, I went to college in Indiana. I met a lot of great people out there, and made a lot of big mistakes as well. Up until one night, I had maintained my purity and for some reason, for one instance, I decided it wasn't that big of a deal and I let loose with someone I hardly knew. That's when I lost my sense of relationship with God. The next couple of years, I continued on the same path. Though I eventually returned to church, had a great Christian roommate, and felt God's presence, nothing changed my lifestyle. After graduating from college, I took a job in Amarillo, Texas, with great expectations of starting my new life and putting those past mistakes behind me. I had another great Christian roommate while in Texas, and a friend who invited me to her church. Things were looking up. But ultimately, I gave into temptation again, and I really cried about it this time. I was truly convicted of my sins, so I fell on my knees and begged the Lord to take over my life. I thought I had made it. I knew that this was the start of a wonderful relationship with God. So I told the guy I’d been with that I was choosing to find abstinence and that we would no longer be having intercourse. I realize now that he thought it was a joke. I told him we could be friends and I meant that we would just be friends. A few days later, he called me, and sounded really upset – I was thinking that maybe something serious had happened. Being naive at the time, I went over to console him. This proved to be an enormous mistake -- I was raped. I didn't know what was happening. In my mind, I figured it was just because he “wanted it”, or that he was upset at me and had felt rejected. I remember thinking that I just wanted it over with so he would leave me alone. It was difficult to comprehend that I was being raped, even though I kept saying over and over again “Stop. No. Quit!” Then with my arms pinned down and tears falling down my face, he asked what was wrong. I said, “I told you ‘No.’” He replied, “It's not like I raped you.” That's when I knew for certain what had just happened to me. I went back to my apartment and didn't say a word for days. I immediately asked God for guidance and told Him I was sorry and that I understood why this had happened. I just prayed so hard that nothing else would happen and I promised to be His. But I had become pregnant. The first person I told -- the person I trusted -- was a male friend. He told me it would be "taken care of." The next day, I received a text message of abortion clinics. Then I told a friend from work, and she took me to a CareNet crisis pregnancy center. Shortly after, I began participating in a foundational Bible study course for new Christians at my church. I offered my new-found life to the Lord again and this time, I knew who God was and what God could do, and I understood that He can only smack you on the wrist so many times. I decided to carry the baby. I called my mom one day after talking to my friend from work. I said I had to tell her something that was really hard and that she wouldn't believe. When I told her, she remained very calm about it. My mom later shared with me that, after we hung up, she told my step-dad and then cried her eyes out. As for my dad, I was really scared to tell him I’d become pregnant from this terrible thing, so I waited until my mom came to Texas and we called my dad while we were together. His first reaction: he just wanted to kill him (like every other male that I told.) He asked where the guy was and if he wanted me to fly down to Texas. I just simply asked him to pray about it. Before I became pregnant, I never really thought about my views on abortion because I never thought I would have to choose. I guess when I do think about it, I was pro-choice. Until I was faced with the situation and actually educated myself on the consequences of abortion, adoption, parenting, and foster care, I would have left it up to the mother to decide. Then when it came down to it, and I knew that there was a life inside of me who had no choice of how he came to be, I became steadfastly pro-life. I left my job after my boss became a complete jerk. Things got worse and worse with my boss until I started praying that the Lord would find an out for me. Then wouldn't you know -- on June 6th I was fired. I didn't ask questions nor need answers. I knew that God had provided just what I needed -- a faster way back to family. When I knew I was leaving Texas, something changed in me. I never spoke up in my Bible study class until the last Sunday I was there. We were in closing prayer. There had already been so many prayer requests -- I just figured I would leave and close the Texas door behind me. Then I felt something in me and I spoke up. I was instantly surrounded with love and care -- the kind you don't find just anywhere. I was offered phone numbers and I should've used them, but I just wanted out of Texas so badly. Once I was fired, I thought about what was next. Since I was in high school and went on my first vacation to Disney, I have been a fan of traveling, so I took this opportunity to make the most of it. It's funny -- whenever my mom talks about this part of the story, she looks at me like I'm crazy, but what I did was just what I needed. While I was pregnant, my son and I took many trips together and saw many things. It was such a great escape from reality and it gave me time to talk to my son about me. I know that he was not able to comprehend what I was telling him on our drive, but I know in my heart that he was listening. One of my dreams is to visit every major league baseball stadium in the country. We visited five -- Arizona, Colorado, Kansas City, Cleveland, and Cincinnati. We shopped, we explored and we learned to love each other. It was the voyage of a lifetime. We went to the “four corners” (where UT,NM,CO, and AZ meet) and I took a picture with my belly at the cross hairs of all four. How many people can say they've ever done that before?! We drove up to Colorado to watch the Indians (my team) play the Rockies, we drove through Rocky Mountain National Park, up into Wyoming, across Nebraska down into Kansas where we had ribs together at the Rib America Festival and later on watched the Royals beat the San Francisco Giants. We spent that night in Missouri and looked through our pictures while I tried my best to explain in detail what a lucky little boy he was. We made our way across Missouri into Illinois, Indiana and back to Kentucky where another job would fall into place. Together we saw sunsets in 13 different states and traveled to a total of 15. We've caught a foul ball, been in four states at once and spent hours upon end together, just the two of us. I feel like that special time of travel we had together with my car loaded to the top was what I needed to have that mother/child connection. Although he may not be in my sight every day (which is not entirely true because he is my computer background,) he has a box of photos of all the places we were, tickets from the 12 baseball games we watched (one being the AAA AllStar game), the foul ball we caught, and several photos of my family and I throughout the years. In due time, he will know exactly who I am and that there are many, many more people who love him. I hope that my son will understand that his life is precious and he is loved. Eventually, I moved back to Ohio -- the place I never thought I would return to. Both my mother and I placed my situation on the prayer chain at my church. I was nervous to go back, but I did, and I was blessed with a great congregation. Most of the people in my church groups would just tell me they were proud of me and they supported my decisions and that I was a strong individual. Maybe I didn't have to deal with a lot of outside things because I made sure to surround myself with good people. I really probably would have stayed quiet about everything anyway, but I went to a Christian counselor one time in Texas, she told me that keeping quiet about things was just what the devil wanted me to do. So then, slowly but surely, I spoke up and it got easier because I wasn't hiding something so difficult from my friends and family. Through my church’s prayer chain, I found a family who was looking for a baby because they were unable to have one. We met and I chose them as the parents for my son. Since placing for adoption, a lot of people have not understood how I could do it. In most cases, they don't even know the story behind how I became pregnant, but I just say it was the best for my son and for me. I will tell you honestly that at one point, even my mid-wife thought I was making a mistake. She told me I could go on Medicaid and food stamps and we would survive together. I was so frustrated by this, that if she hadn't been my fourth doctor through this pregnancy, I would have switched (she was not the one that delivered in the end anyway.) For my son, I wanted a two-parent household that was stable and comfortable. I couldn't provide what I wanted him to have. I didn't want to have men in and out of his life while I was trying to find someone to love us both. I also am not sure about where I will be month to month since I’m just now taking a new position in another state. My life is in no way a good way to raise a child, but an adoptive family is. I now have an outstanding relationship with the Lord. I attend church regularly and read devotions daily. I am reading a book about trials as seen by James, and I am an evangelist to my friends. I also volunteer at a CareNet crisis pregnancy center with a friend of mine (whose family had been a wonderful Christian influence throughout my childhood since we were in kindergarten together.) I love the Lord and He loves me. Not only did I have this current job offer, but I’d had successful interviews with several others (even in this economic crisis!) The Lord provides, and He made something beautiful from what I first thought was a tragedy. Was son was born early in the morning by C-section. Until he was born, I didn't believe the "love at first sight" saying, but I do believe there is such a thing between a mother and her child. It didn't even take seeing him -- it was as soon as I first heard his cry! He moved to his home on December 29th and is a happy, healthy, little boy. Praise be to God! Our open adoption offers me photos monthly for the first year. We have mutually decided that, until he asks questions, we will not have any type of visitation and we will be sure that it is with good timing for both of us when it does come. The family and I correspond often and they are doing a baby’s first year calendar for me. We have a great relationship. We were all together when he was baptized at the hospital, just after I signed the placement papers. My whole family sent him Christmas presents and will, on occasion, send other things. He will know about us because his adoptive mother is adopted too -- which I really liked. She said she will be open and understand more of what he is feeling. Ten months of my life changed, but a sweet, little, handsome baby came from it. Adoption was the right choice for me and for my son. I get to continue on with my life and know that he will have a life with a great family! To any woman who is now pregnant out of rape, I’d like to assure you that the Lord provides. There are positives as to why this happened. It is not at all easy and it often stopped my regular daily activity, but in reality, whether you choose to place your baby for adoption or to parent, the Lord will offer up exactly what you need if you believe. Nine or ten months of your life -- sustaining a life -- is easier to deal with than aborting for an eternity. You can find the good in every situation if you keep an open mind. You must always remember that though this was not the ideal way to conceive a child, he or she did not choose to be conceived in that way either. Every life is precious -- no matter the way of conception or the quality of life. There are reasons that each and every one of us is created, and we should all have the opportunity to find out why. To a child like my son who was conceived in rape, I offer to you that you are more special than most other children. The Lord allowed me to go through this to see how faithful I was to Him and whether I would be thankful for His gift to me. The amount of love I have for my child is surely more filling than a child who was planned in a two-parent household. It was not your choice to be conceived the way that you were, nor your mother’s to become pregnant with you. You may not have been conceived through love, but you were born through love. I now feel a tremendous sense of purpose. Since having my baby, I resolved to be abstinent, and am looking into teaching programs of abstinence education in the future. I’ve been training and volunteering at my local CareNet crisis pregnancy center, and when I move to Pennsylvania soon, I will be volunteering at the local CareNet there, helping to encourage other women who are facing unplanned pregnancies. I hope to attend many pro-life conferences and to be speaking regularly on the value of life -- even in cases of rape. Recently, I found a cheap plane ticket to San Diego, and I have a friend from college out there, so I went to the San Diego Zoo and took lots of animal pictures because I'm going to making Gabe his first book about animals. I am sooo excited! I also got him this little toy panda bear thing and a book about pandas. Oh, and I just got my two month pictures. I am in love! I feel as though with the love of the Lord, my family, friends, and this little one, my life is so blessed. I can't say enough about it. Kaylee Swanson |
| Tim’s story, conceived in rape and placed for adoption She was only seventeen, an honor student, all-state volleyball player, and a kind and compassionate spirit. Wanting badly to become a nurse, she knew she had to study hard and maintain great physical shape. Many of the boys in school thought that she was among the best looking in the class. When she received her acceptance into the local nursing school, she was ecstatic, thinking it would be the best time of her life. It did begin as such. She had no trouble gaining friends, and it seemed like her transition to college and the real world was going to be very easy. She was, despite her beauty, very naïve when it came to men. She was always too busy in her high school life to have a boyfriend, and she never thought she would have the time, too. However, when she met an older man, who, at first seemed to be a good friend, she thought that perhaps dating could play a part in her very active lifestyle. At first he treated her like a lady, and she was enthralled with his gentleman attitude. He was kind, caring, warm, and not like the other boys her friends at college dated. They seemed to have the benefit of taking it slow and seeing what the future held. This all would change for the worst. Within a few months of dating, after a very normal evening, my mother was sexually assaulted and raped by the man she was dating. It was not the violent, unexpected attack that is talked about in the media. It was perhaps worse -- a trustful bond destroyed by someone who was thought of to be her friend, confidant, and hopeful boyfriend. She was sexually assaulted, and left on a rural road in the dead winter month of February. Fortunately, another car passed soon and she was picked up and driven to the police department. But he was never arrested and charges were never formally filed. My mother was a good Christian woman and someone who took her morals very seriously. She never would have imagined that this would happen to her. She also couldn’t imagine was happening -- after a few months of questioning, she found out that she was pregnant. She was away from home for the first time, unable to talk to her parents about it because of the shame she still felt for something that was not her fault. Friends did not believe her; she would hear whispers in her dorm room. The college even thought about expelling her, or sending back home to “deal with her medical issues.” The quickest way out was to get an abortion. Having grown up in an upper class, progressive Christian home, abortion was something that was brought up, but only happened to “other families”. Sadly, her older sister would later tell her that she had had an abortion before her younger sister’s attack. The friends who were still talking to her also tried to convince her that the quickest way to “forget” about the attack was to silently terminate the offspring growing inside her. With Roe vs. Wade in its sixth year, and abortion facilities becoming more prevalent, she found it easy to find out how much the procedure would cost. After months of staggering soul-searching and tears, she had decided to give her baby the ultimate gift – life. Then, she chose to give her baby the second-best gift -- a healthy family who could provide for them. In October of that year, in a quiet hospital, far away from where she grew up and from where she attended college, my mother gave birth to a healthy baby boy. He was smaller than average, and had a very slight heart murmur, but other than that was completely healthy. A wonderful family adopted me. My mother and father provided me with everything a child could want, and more. I never had to worry about food, shelter, or wonder where my next meal was coming from. Growing up, I climbed trees, played video games, worried about girls, and went on many camping trips with my father, uncles, and cousins. I had a “Tom Sawyer” romance to my up bringing; always dreaming and imagining things that I could do with my friends and family. I shudder to think it almost didn’t happen. When the former governor signed a law stating that adopted children can view their vital records certificates -- not just their birth certificates -- I was amongst the first people to sign up for it. The biological family had no way of contacting the child they’d placed for adoption, for they did not know the name of their new baby. Through “dumb luck,” I put my birth mother’s name in a search engine on Yahoo. It came up, along with my entire family, in an obituary for a relative. I actually first contacted my maternal grandparents, and they set up a meeting with my biological mother, and themselves. I learned I was conceived in rape throughout the process of talking to my biological mother. I also found out that the rapist is dead. He was never arrested, nor were charges ever pressed. At first, I struggled with the knowledge that I have achieved, and at times, I still do. It is often extremely difficult to understand that blood is not thicker than water, and love makes a family more than one violent action could. Eventually, I realized that it really does not matter how you were conceived. You control your own destiny by your actions, and if the good Lord has given you life, it matters not how you came into this world. What it really boils down to in the end is how you live your life now. Many great men and women were conceived in violent or terrible circumstances, and sometimes the children of such do not grow up in great surroundings. Using the gifts that God gave you, realize that what matters is how you live your life, not how you were created. Life, no matter how it began, is much better than the alternative. If, God forbid, a woman is raped and considering abortion, I would like to listen to her, more than anything. Given the opportunity, I would like to emphasize the fact that how her child was created has nothing to do with what they become. It is how they are raised that really matters. I would tell her that one violent, disgusting, horrific act does not mean the life of the child should be devalued. Most importantly, I would like to tell her to pray, and talk to God . . . . He knows what’s best even if we don’t. 1979, my biological mother was assaulted, and she became pregnant. She talked to her friends about it, and they told her to abort me. She spoke to the doctors, and they told her that an abortion might be the best choice. She struggled with the “choice” for months on end. Thankfully, for both of us, she decided on life. I’ve spoken to women who have had abortions -- some were assaulted, some were pressured, and others forgot their birth control and became pregnant. Whenever they talk about what they did, I always thank my mother, and say to myself, “I’m sure glad no one killed me.” My personal view is that abortion should be illegal. However, since this is a goal that sometimes doesn’t seem likely to be realized in this world today, I would like to see the pro-life side unite under a banner and, at the very least, try to minimize the number of abortions which are taking place. While it’s true that abortion does take a life, it is crucial to remember that nothing will be done until we both stop shouting at each other. For those who say that abortion should be legal in cases of rape, I ask them this question: “Why punish the unborn child for the crimes of the father?” When they say, “A woman should not have to carry the child of the rapist,” I explain, “The child did not choose to come into this world by rape.” Please consider this: Wouldn’t it be better that the children of such a monstrous and destructive act be given the opportunity to try to make this world a little bit better -- by allowing them to survive rather than having them die by someone else’s “choice?’” -- Tim (to contact him, please e-mail rebecca -- rebecca@rebeccakiessling.com) |
Lee Ezell -- author of "The
Missing Piece," and her
daughter Julie Makimaa,
co-editor of "Victims and Victors
-- speaking out about their
pregnancies, abortions and
children from sexual assault."
Interviewed together, here is
their joint story.
Missing Piece," and her
daughter Julie Makimaa,
co-editor of "Victims and Victors
-- speaking out about their
pregnancies, abortions and
children from sexual assault."
Interviewed together, here is
their joint story.
Sharon Isley's Story -- conceived in rape, Sharon is now a Chemist
and also an assistant pastor at Debra Heights Wesleyan Church in
Iowa. She is available for speaking in her area. --
s.isley@iowatelecom.net
I am amazed at God’s
love. The sheer delight
expressed in Psalm 130
leaves me speechless.
How is it possible that the
Almighty God, the Creator
and Sustainer of the
Universe, actually cares
about me?!
How can He look at me,
and not see me as a
disappointment? I was
conceived by an act of
violence. From a very
early age I knew the story.
My father was an alcoholic, and became very violent when drunk.
Apparently after my sister was born, that was pretty much constant.
He was spending all the family’s money on booze, and my mother
and sister lived for about a year on a single bowl of rice daily.
Mom decided to leave my father, and in a drunken rage he raped
her. I was conceived. Abortion was never considered by my
mother. This is because it was 1964 and it was illegal, and she was
Catholic. Abortion per se wasn’t considered by my father either;
instead he resorted to violence. After he found out about the
pregnancy, he beat mom, kicked her in the stomach, threw her down
stairs – all in an attempt to force a miscarriage.
My mother also was hospitalized during the pregnancy for a severe
kidney infection. Doctors were sure she would have a miscarriage.
Given that my mother has had 4 miscarraiges, it is clear to me that
God had His hand on my life from the very beginning. He was
helping me to grow, protecting me, and making sure that I was not
only born, but born healthy.
I know that pro-choice advocates state that every child has the right
to be wanted and loved. I agree with that. However, not being
wanted, and not being loved, does not mean the child should be
killed. I was not wanted. My mother loved me, but her ambivalence
was clear. She struggled with the emotional impact of her own
abuse, in turn abusing my sisters and me. I was sexually abused by
several family members, beginning at the age of 3.
Despite all of these obstacles, God had a purpose for my life. This
difficult beginning has been the foundation of who I am. It has
developed my character – both my strengths and my weaknesses.
And it has given me a passion for ministering to those who are
hurting, and who need hope.
If a pro-choice advocate had been able to counsel my mother, she
would likely have been told to abort me. I was nothing but a living
reminder of my mother’s trauma, and a financial burden on a soon to
be single mother. Had that counselor been able to see into the
future and know that I was to be abused, that would have confirmed it
– an abortion would be more compassionate than bringing an unborn
child into the world to suffer so much.
But think about what this is saying! How is it an act of compassion to
murder an innocent baby, to prevent it from being abused? The
abuse, I lived through. I had a chance to grow up, and through the
grace of God a horrible beginning has become a story of hope and
inspiration.
Yes, every child deserves to be loved and wanted. But first and
formost, every child deserves to live! Had my father succeeded in
taking my life, I would not be making a difference in the lives of
people in my community through my church. My husband would not
have his wife. My children would not exist – a thought that is so
profoundly sad that I can’t bear to think about it!
I am thankful to my mother for doing all she could to make sure I
survived such a difficult beginning. She has made mistakes over the
years, and has sincerely repented and is working on her own issues.
But above all, I am thankful to God. He loves me. He created me.
He knows everything about me. He has a plan for my life. He thinks
about me all the time. I am His passion! He loves me so much, He
came to earth, suffered more than I ever have, died an agonizing
death, descended to Hell itself, and then arose again, just so that I
could be forgiven for my sins and live in His presence for eternity.
And He loves you too, much more than you can ever imagine!
Sharon Isley
s.isley@iowatelecom.net
and also an assistant pastor at Debra Heights Wesleyan Church in
Iowa. She is available for speaking in her area. --
s.isley@iowatelecom.net
I am amazed at God’s
love. The sheer delight
expressed in Psalm 130
leaves me speechless.
How is it possible that the
Almighty God, the Creator
and Sustainer of the
Universe, actually cares
about me?!
How can He look at me,
and not see me as a
disappointment? I was
conceived by an act of
violence. From a very
early age I knew the story.
My father was an alcoholic, and became very violent when drunk.
Apparently after my sister was born, that was pretty much constant.
He was spending all the family’s money on booze, and my mother
and sister lived for about a year on a single bowl of rice daily.
Mom decided to leave my father, and in a drunken rage he raped
her. I was conceived. Abortion was never considered by my
mother. This is because it was 1964 and it was illegal, and she was
Catholic. Abortion per se wasn’t considered by my father either;
instead he resorted to violence. After he found out about the
pregnancy, he beat mom, kicked her in the stomach, threw her down
stairs – all in an attempt to force a miscarriage.
My mother also was hospitalized during the pregnancy for a severe
kidney infection. Doctors were sure she would have a miscarriage.
Given that my mother has had 4 miscarraiges, it is clear to me that
God had His hand on my life from the very beginning. He was
helping me to grow, protecting me, and making sure that I was not
only born, but born healthy.
I know that pro-choice advocates state that every child has the right
to be wanted and loved. I agree with that. However, not being
wanted, and not being loved, does not mean the child should be
killed. I was not wanted. My mother loved me, but her ambivalence
was clear. She struggled with the emotional impact of her own
abuse, in turn abusing my sisters and me. I was sexually abused by
several family members, beginning at the age of 3.
Despite all of these obstacles, God had a purpose for my life. This
difficult beginning has been the foundation of who I am. It has
developed my character – both my strengths and my weaknesses.
And it has given me a passion for ministering to those who are
hurting, and who need hope.
If a pro-choice advocate had been able to counsel my mother, she
would likely have been told to abort me. I was nothing but a living
reminder of my mother’s trauma, and a financial burden on a soon to
be single mother. Had that counselor been able to see into the
future and know that I was to be abused, that would have confirmed it
– an abortion would be more compassionate than bringing an unborn
child into the world to suffer so much.
But think about what this is saying! How is it an act of compassion to
murder an innocent baby, to prevent it from being abused? The
abuse, I lived through. I had a chance to grow up, and through the
grace of God a horrible beginning has become a story of hope and
inspiration.
Yes, every child deserves to be loved and wanted. But first and
formost, every child deserves to live! Had my father succeeded in
taking my life, I would not be making a difference in the lives of
people in my community through my church. My husband would not
have his wife. My children would not exist – a thought that is so
profoundly sad that I can’t bear to think about it!
I am thankful to my mother for doing all she could to make sure I
survived such a difficult beginning. She has made mistakes over the
years, and has sincerely repented and is working on her own issues.
But above all, I am thankful to God. He loves me. He created me.
He knows everything about me. He has a plan for my life. He thinks
about me all the time. I am His passion! He loves me so much, He
came to earth, suffered more than I ever have, died an agonizing
death, descended to Hell itself, and then arose again, just so that I
could be forgiven for my sins and live in His presence for eternity.
And He loves you too, much more than you can ever imagine!
Sharon Isley
s.isley@iowatelecom.net
