| Jenni Maas' Story: Conceived in Rape, reprinted with permission from Human Life International http://www.humanlife.org/abortion_jenni_story.php I first began to recognize that I had a story to tell when I was attending a public Junior High school in Forest Lake, MN. Frequently the abortion topic would come up with friends and on occasion teachers would talk about why abortion should remain legal. I would always cringe a little when they would say, "I don't like abortion. I think it is wrong . . . except in cases of rape and incest," or "We really have to keep abortion legal for cases of rape and incest." My mom had slowly been revealing the circumstances of my conception to me over the years and by the time I was 13, I understood and had come to grips with the reality that my father was, essentially, a rapist. He was 18, as was my mother, at the time of my conception. Though he had most likely acted out of a dare by his friends, he had violated my mother against her will. When my mom found out she was pregnant with me, the only advice she was given was to discard the "products of conception." She explains how she was never offered support to keep me, though this is where her heart was leading her. Needless to say, I am eternally grateful that she heeded that still, small voice in her heart that told her the life growing within her had a purpose and did not deserve death. When the topic of rape and incest came up throughout junior high and high school, I would usually first try to appeal to reason saying: "Why don't you like abortion? What is wrong with it?" When they would answer "Because, it's a life" some would immediately recognize the double standard and relent. Most of the time, however, even when faced with their own illogical statements, they would still persist with emotional arguments: "You can't make a woman go through with a pregnancy like that." Though it is an unjust and heart wrenching scenario to consider, it must be dealt with, and so I would tell them our story. Only once in high school did a person who heard this story turn away cold-faced. Every other person who was confronted with "a face" allowed their heart to melt at the truth of the matter-God has a plan for everyone! As my husband and I anticipate the birth of our own baby soon, I am continually discovering God's magnificent plan, not only for my life, but also for every life that he calls into existence. It is crucial that every citizen realize that a person's dignity is not founded in whether or not one is wanted, as abortion peddlers and legislators would like them to believe. A person's dignity is founded in the reality that persons are created in the image and likeness of God. The circumstance of my conception or yours does not determine the quality of our lives. Young people across the nation and around the world are increasingly recognizing the double standards of abortion rhetoric. They see that all the promises of the so-called "sexual revolution" are coming up empty. Young people are renewing the pro-life movement with an enthusiastic determination to bring about a "Culture of Life." By the grace of God, my mom (and I) were spared the life-long, direct agony that abortion brings. However, when you consider Planned Parenthood's grisly statistic that 40% of all women in the U.S. will have an abortion by the age of 40 (mothers, daughters, aunts, grandmothers, granddaughters, cousins, wives) every American citizen has been touched by the grief of abortion directly or indirectly. Therefore, every one of us has an obligation to stand up! I am thrilled to be a part of the generation that WILL turn the cultural tide so that following generations will be spared this unjust suffering. For Life, Jenni Maas |
| Russell Saltzman's Story Conceived in step-sibling incest, Russell lives in the Kansas City area and is available for speaking -- rhlcpastor@sbcglobal.net Summary Remarks of Russell E. Saltzman, Pastor of Ruskin Heights Lutheran Church, Kansas City, MO Before the Senate Appropriations Subcommittee on Labor, Health and Human Services, and Education, September 14, 2000 Thank you, Mr. Chairman and Senators, for the opportunity to appear before this subcommittee this morning. I count it as a privilege. I once worked for a Member of Congress and I know the energy and the time you bring to this work and how difficult your decisions sometimes are, and you are to be thanked for your efforts. I am here as a person with diabetes to testify against the use of human embryonic stem cell research. But I shall first reveal something of myself. I am the adopted child of Harry and Lola Saltzman, my parents who live yet in the home where I was raised in Olathe, Kansas. Since I am an adopted child, you might guess, accurately, that the circumstances of my conception were not ideal. In the summer of 1946, I was an unplanned, unwanted pregnancy. My birth parents were members of the same family. In fact they were step-siblings. Very possibly my conception was the result not only of step-sibling incest, but step-sibling rape. There is no question in my mind - given the circumstances current these days - that my birth mother would have been urged to accept abortion and very likely would have sought one as the means of solving the dilemma I represented. I am unable to look at abortion in any light except those of my origin. When I say that appearing here is a privilege, I hope I also convey my sense of the miraculous, for had my conception occurred after 1972, I would not be here at all. And suddenly it comes to mind that - having been aborted - the fetal parts that were once me might have become research material for somebody's investigation into the very disease I have come here to discuss. So at the outset, I say it is a terrible thing we undertake in these discussions, not only because the matter touches me so personally, but also because I know our common origin, the base humanity that links us one to another, whatever our stage of development or maturity. We all once sprang from an act of union between egg and sperm. We all once were human embryos. We all once were fetuses quickening in our mothers' wombs. We are all, each, human life. We may hope that all of us were conceived in love, but in my case that matters not at all. Whether I was conceived in love or in violence, what is important for me is the fact that I am here in the first place. My existence by itself has some considerable consequence for other people, not least for my seven children, two of whom are adopted. I suffer from diabetes. Since my diagnosis in 1995, I have learned that the burden of a chronic illness is a real burden. I have experienced the progression of this illness from a time when simple diet alterations controlled it, to the point now where I am completely insulin-dependent. It is the chronic part that constitutes the real burden, knowing I shall never be rid of it, knowing my life will always be governed by diet and injection schedules, and knowing, too, that my death probably will be the result of some diabetic complication. When I say I wish I did not have it, I am saying there is almost anything I would do to get rid of it. Almost. The prospect of stem cell therapy derived from human embryonic research - involving the destruction of a human embryo - touches me in a most profound way. I would never consent to any treatment for my diabetes that directly or indirectly came about as the result of destroying a human embryo. What I find disturbing about this incessant rush to harvest stem cells from embryos is the fact that no researcher to date has been able to develop a pancreatic cell from the techniques presently used, this while there are several promising avenues of research that do not involve destruction of a human embryo. Most recently, I have learned about investigations by Canadian researchers that employed pancreatic islet cells from cadavers. The technique successfully eliminated insulin-dependence of several diabetics who received the procedure. The procedure is subject to further trials and it must be nuanced in application. But this holds greater promise for a diabetic cure than anything else I have heard about - and islet cell transplant is ethically neutral. It has no moral implications associated with it. Yet, we here in the United States seem in a rush to use what is arguably the most ethically objectionable method available, while other morally neutral medical technologies virtually are at hand. The President's own National Bioethics Advisory Commission has said that because human embryos deserve respect as a developing form of human life, destroying them "is justifiable only if no less morally problematic alternatives are available for advancing research." The fact is, those alternatives exist. It comes to a question. Is the human embryo human life, or is it a mere bit of research material? If it is mere research material, then why should any human life at any stage of development - yours or mine - carry any special privilege? But if the embryo is human life, then we should have in place some restraint that cautions the strong against using the weak for their own purposes. I would commend to your reading Aldous Huxley's Brave New World. Written in 1933 Huxley, with astonishing prophetic foresight, created a world of genetic clones and what he called "decanted babies." All this arose because in the world of his novel, the human embryo was merely research material. He worried that science was being twisted all around. Where once, as with the sabbath, science was made for Man, he foresaw a time when Man would be made for science. In Huxley's fictionalized world the process that turned science around was methodical and deliberate, and without moral regard. In our own world, the process going on is less tidy but no less deliberate, and, I fear, with equally little moral regard. If a cure for diabetes and a host of other ailments require the production and destruction of human embryos, then I beg you to consider the possibility that some diseases are better than their cure. -- Russell E. Saltzman rhlcpastor@sbcglobal.net |
Conceived in Rape Personal Stories and Pro-Life Speakers
| Rebecca Kiessling Conceived in rape / Pro-life speaker |
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| Mary Payne's Story Conceived in rape, Mary lives in Oklahoma City and is available for speaking -- marpayne@siriusnet.net Ladies and Gentlemen and Friends of Life, my name is Mary Payne. I am grateful for the opportunity to share with you today. I have written this piece because I want to share with you that all life is important and children born from rape or incest are no different from you. I can say this because I was born as the result of a conception, which occurred after a rape/assault. Although I came from a criminal act, does not define who I am. I am a loving daughter, faithful wife, nurturing mother, and doting grandmother. I am very sorry for the pain and anguish that my birthmother endured on my behalf. I wish I had the power to wipe away all her suffering, but I can't. I love her even more now, because I know the details of my conception. She certainly did not deserve the events that occurred in her life. She made the best of a tragic situation. And the only thing I can do at this point is to pray for her every day and to work toward being the best and most loving person I can be, breaking the cycle of abuse. Our two-year-old granddaughter lives in California. When her mom or dad puts her on the phone and she says, “I love you, Gramma!” My heart just melts. All babies are so special. I’d like for you to close your eyes for a minute and picture in your mind the first time you held a newborn baby. Think about how it felt to have the baby nuzzle your neck. Look at the baby’s hair, her little toes, her fingers, and her skin. Visualize the baby’s eyes. At that moment in time when you looked into her eyes, did you stop and ask yourself, “Gee, I wonder what the parents were saying to each other when this little person was formed? Did the mother consent? Is it OK for this baby to be here?” Absolutely not! And that is what I want to impart to you today. Life is life. And life in the womb -- no matter how he or she was precipitated -- is still a developing human being and should be constitutionally protected. What if great statesmen like Thomas Jefferson, or George Washington, or honored poets like Maya Angelou had been aborted? We will never know what great individuals are missing from our society because we have condoned abortion for 33 years. I am so grateful that my birthmother chose life for me. I found her in 1991, but I didn’t learn the circumstances surrounding my conception until 1993. My birthmother wanted to spare me the details of knowing I was conceived from rape. I cannot deny that it was difficult. I felt dirty, guilty, and less-than-a-human-being for a period of time. To be perfectly honest, because our society looks down on violence, illegitimacy, and factors associated with unwed motherhood, I was unprepared for the news. My self-esteem plummeted. I had always been told that my birthparents were just two kids in love who were too young to get married. Naturally, it was a blow to learn the truth. The floor could have swallowed me. My brain cells shattered and for a time, I had difficulty thinking about anything other than my conception. I bought a 6,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, because working jig-saw puzzles helps the brain to overcome trauma. I reasoned that for the kind of trauma I had, it would take 6,000 pieces! We lost our dining room table to the puzzle. It took 10 months to complete. My husband bought a microwave so he wouldn’t miss any meals. Well, you gotta’ do what you gotta’ do! As I worked the puzzle with my husband’s and sons’ support, faith gave me the power to sort through my thoughts and feelings about conception. My conclusion is that I am okay. I didn’t cause the rape, I can’t cure it, and I couldn’t control the result. I can just be me. When the egg and the sperm meet, the egg actually surrounds and envelopes the sperm, rather than the sperm penetrating the egg. At the moment of conception, God’s creative energy flows through the newly created cell. Because God has a purpose for everyone, his energy flows through the cell, giving it life. If God did not have a Divine plan for the embryo, the mother would perhaps miscarry the child naturally. Even children who are miscarried can be a blessing and a child whose life ended early is still a soul who exists in Heaven. The time that a mother spends with an unborn child in her womb is a blessing, even if it is for a short time. So many women rejoice just finding out that they are pregnant. That’s the way God planned it to be — that the knowledge of a conception would be a cause for joy, but He gave us free will and our choices have interfered with His plan. When Roe v. Wade was argued in 1972, one of the reasons given was that society had to protect women who were raped. It was supposed to apply to a narrow segment of embryos, sometimes called “Castaway Souls.” But if people are given an inch, they will take a mile and the number of Castaway Souls ballooned into football stadiums full of "unwanted" baby humans, who were not allowed to be born. What legalized abortion actually does is to pre-empt God. It gives man control over who lives and who dies — not God. Too bad we have been so ego-centered and materialistic that we have thought we knew better than God. I am grateful to each one of you who has the inner intuition of knowing the value of every human life. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you are doing. You are standing for life and those of us who were in danger of being aborted salute you for all you do; for being here; for phoning your legislators; for passing out flyers; raising money; talking to your friends and neighbors about the meaning of life. And, last but certainly not least, for voting for life. YOU are our advocates. You honor us with your efforts and so I honor you. We must prevail to give even the tiniest victim a voice for life. In a democracy, every life is important. Our society cannot afford to lose even one statesman or stateswoman to help guide us through the twenty-first century and beyond. Thank you. -- Mary Payne |
Other famous people
conceived in rape:
John Cox, 2008 Republican
Presidential Candidate:
"Conceived in rape, John was
brought into this world by a
mother who refused to abort her
pre-born possible future
President."
www.cox2008.com/cox/south_caroli
na_straw_polls_confound_experts/
Angelina Jolie's adopted daughter
Zahara "Result of Rape." Link to
Article
Faith Daniels -- talk show host of
the TV show Dateline, A Closer
Look, and Today (among others).
She describes coming to terms
with the fact that her conception
resulted from rape in a People
Magazine article.
Fredrick Douglass -- former slave
and abolitionist. He details his
conception by rape in his writing,
Narrative of the Life of Fredrick
Douglass, available online at
http://pd.sparknotes.com/lit/narrati
ve/section5.html
Jesse Jackson -- Reverend whose
mother was 16 when he was
conceived and whose father was
a 30-year old next door neighbor
who was already married
Tracy Carter Jennieve -- daughter
of actress Nell Carter, who was
conceived when Nell was raped at
16 years old.
conceived in rape:
John Cox, 2008 Republican
Presidential Candidate:
"Conceived in rape, John was
brought into this world by a
mother who refused to abort her
pre-born possible future
President."
www.cox2008.com/cox/south_caroli
na_straw_polls_confound_experts/
Angelina Jolie's adopted daughter
Zahara "Result of Rape." Link to
Article
Faith Daniels -- talk show host of
the TV show Dateline, A Closer
Look, and Today (among others).
She describes coming to terms
with the fact that her conception
resulted from rape in a People
Magazine article.
Fredrick Douglass -- former slave
and abolitionist. He details his
conception by rape in his writing,
Narrative of the Life of Fredrick
Douglass, available online at
http://pd.sparknotes.com/lit/narrati
ve/section5.html
Jesse Jackson -- Reverend whose
mother was 16 when he was
conceived and whose father was
a 30-year old next door neighbor
who was already married
Tracy Carter Jennieve -- daughter
of actress Nell Carter, who was
conceived when Nell was raped at
16 years old.
| Dr. Bethaney Tessitore's Story -- Bethaney resides in Decatur, Alabama, and is available for speaking. nittanneey96@yahoo.com Thank you very much for reading my story here today. For the past two years I have gone to Zambia, Africa. Due to the high rate of AIDS in sub-Saharan Africa, there are more orphans in Zambia than in any other country of the world. Last year when I was there, I felt compelled to share my testimony of foster care and adoption. I knew that the Zambians would be able to relate to the feeling of being unwanted, unloved, and orphaned. They needed to know that there is more to them as individuals than the circumstances surrounding their conception or who they have in their family unit. There is purpose in their life above and beyond anything that they could ever imagine and unconditional love that can only come from God. Six days after returning to the states, I was asked to be the keynote speaker at a Right To Life Rally. Imagine that…only six days later and God showed Himself to be faithful. He showed me that not only can I impact Zambians on the other side of the world, but I can also have an impact on Americans in my own community as well. So, today I want to share with you some of my experiences and how those issues have impacted my life. I was an only child until I was ten years old. One day my mom said to me that I was going to have a baby brother or sister. I asked her if she was pregnant. She said no, that we were going to adopt a child because she couldn’t have babies anymore. The way she said it led me to believe that she had me and then could not have any more children after me. Finally in December, my brother, Josh came to us. When Josh was a few months old my family was driving through a mall parking lot. I asked my parents when we were going to tell my brother he was adopted. My dad slammed the car into park, took off his seatbelt, and leaned over me, telling me sternly never to bring the subject up again. He is our child now so he never needs to know that he is adopted. It was that night that I learned from my parents that adoption was taboo and never to be brought up again. My brother’s adoption, and unknown to me at the time my adoption as well, was our family secret. During these times, it never occurred to me that I might also be adopted. That was until I found an obituary for a stillborn baby girl that my mother had. The date was April 7th 1974. My birthday is March 30th 1974. As a result of this discovery as well as others, thus began the process of acceptance into the reality that I was adopted. I didn’t tell my parents any of this because I was afraid of what their reaction would be. My family made it clear that there was a shame and stigma attached to adoption. As a result, I withdrew and never told any of my friends either. When I was in college, I finally told my best friend that I was adopted. When she still accepted me for who I was and was not ashamed of me, I began to realize that adoption is not necessarily a bad thing. With her support, I called my mom during my senior year at Penn State to tell her everything that I had discovered. When I finally told my mother, she denied it, got upset, and told me I was lying. She woke up my father and put him on the phone. My dad was very supportive and told me that if I ever wanted to search for my birthmother, he would help me. At that point in time, I had no desire to look for my birthparents. I knew that eventually that time would come when I would want more answers but this was not yet the time. A few years later my mother died. It was one of the most difficult things I have ever had to deal with. She was 44, I was 23, and my brother was only 12. Even though she had concealed my adoption and even lied about it, I still loved her more than anyone. I moved out shortly thereafter to attend graduate school. In 2000 following graduation, it was then that I was finally ready to start searching for my birthparents. I definitely did not want to replace my own parents; however, I just needed answers. In December of 2000, I received a letter of non-identifying information. Reading that letter for the first time was incredible. In a period of five minutes I found out so many things about me; my given name at birth was Stephanie, I found out my birth weight and length, the time of my birth, and my maternal family history. Finding out so many things about yourself at one time really is indescribable. I could not take my eyes off that paper. I just sat there for the rest of the evening, holding that paper in my hands and staring at it. Two weeks later, I contacted Catholic Charities and started the search for my birthmother. Now all I could do was sit back, be patient, and wait. And wait I did. For over four years I did not hear anything from them. By May of 2005, I was now residing in Florida. It was then that I received a phone call by Catholic Charities. The case worker who was working on my search said “Bethaney, we found your birthmother. I will give you her phone number and you can call her.” She started by saying “813.” “813, I interrupted! That is Tampa!” “Yes,” my caseworker said. “She lives in FL near you.” What are the chances of that? I lived in Florida for less than one year and within those few months, I find my birthmother living only 20 miles from me! I called her and we met on Memorial Day. It was amazing to meet her and see what she looked like. She brought pictures of her family and I showed her pictures of me growing up. Finding out some things were incredible. She was in the medical field just like me. She told me that she thought about me every day, especially on my birthday and mother’s day. She had always wanted to look for me but decided not to interfere with my life. She respected me enough to wait until I was ready to contact her. So many of the things she told me were positive. However, others were not quite so uplifting. My birthmother remained single and had a tough life. She grew up without her mother around and still has no communication with her. She got pregnant with me at age 19, placed me up for adoption, and one year later had a hysterectomy. This was difficult on her because she had always wanted many children. She just was not ready to be a single mother to a child while she was still a teenager. The following year, her older brother and sister, whom she was very close with, died in a car accident. Later on she almost killed herself and another person in a terrible car accident where she was at fault. In addition to finding out about her difficult life, I also found out many things that no one would really want to hear about their genetic heritage. She told me that she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, as was her father. Almost all of her family dealt with severe depression and took anti-depressants, and my first cousin, who was seven days older than me, committed suicide a few years before. In the midst of finding out all of these things about her and her family, I still had a burning desire to find out who the father was. Catholic Charities reported that the birthfather was unknown. My hope was that my birthmother knew who the birthfather was but just didn’t divulge that information to Catholic Charities. When I asked her who the father was, she responded, “I knew you were going to ask me this. I don’t know.” She told me she was dating a black man at the time so it may have been him. Unbeknownst to her, I had already found out that I had genetic testing completed at birth at Children’s Hospital to see if her boyfriend may have been my birthfather. Testing revealed that there was no black parentage present. I shared this information with her and said “So, if it wasn’t him, then who else could it have been.” She was slow to answer. Then she told me that she left Pittsburgh and moved to Tampa for six months in 1973. It was during that time that she started using drugs and drinking heavily. She would go clubbing in downtown Tampa and after those late evening she got involved with many men. As a result, she had no idea who the father could be and could not even begin to guess on names. Although this is the answer I had been expecting, I was still disappointed that I would never be able to find out where half of my DNA came from. I am never going to be able to look my father in his eyes. I am never going to be able to see what traits we share. What made it even stranger for me is that I was conceived in Tampa. My birthfather and his family might be living right next door to me and I would never know it! After realizing that more conversation on this topic would do nothing to gain more information, we moved on. However, later on in the evening when I was telling a story, my birthmother abruptly interrupted me and said “By the way, I was raped by gunpoint.” For a second I just sat there. I was prepared for her to tell me that I was conceived through a one night stand. And I was prepared for her to tell me she was a prostitute. However, I never thought about the fact that rape could have resulted in my conception. All I could think to ask her was “So, that could be my father.” She responded by saying “Yes, It could be. But that doesn’t matter.” I was so shocked to hear that I might be alive because of someone else’s anger, lack of self-control, and need for dominance, that I had no idea what to say back to her. I had always assumed that my conception was my birthmother’s fault for not being responsible. But, finding out that I might have been conceived by rape; that is a whole new ball game. Now the birthfather’s selfish behavior led to my birthmother having to endure nine months of horror and a more or less a lifetime of pain and regret. Months after I moved to Alabama, the idea of me being a product of rape still haunted me. I emailed my birthmother to obtain more details. Two months later she responded to my email saying “Yes, I was raped, but that was not how you were conceived. I was already pregnant with you during the time of the rape. I remember telling the man not to hurt me because I was pregnant.” After talking to some other people well-versed in the area of rape and incest with experience in counseling birthmothers, I am told that I am likely a product of rape. Birthmothers do not necessarily want their child to find out that they were conceived in rape but the internal desire to express that causes the birthmother to quickly state that they were raped and get that out into the open. Then if the birthmother sees a backing away by the child, the birthmother may perceive that the child is backing away due to the rape and then the she rescinds her first statement and changes her story to promote a better relationship. So, even today, I still do not know the real answer regarding my conception. All I know is that in any case, I was unplanned and unwanted. Knowing that I was a possible product of rape, I asked the big question that many adoptees want to know. “Did you want to abort me?” The answer was one that I expected, but one that stung never-the-less. “Yes” she responded. “I did.” In 1974, although abortion was legal at the time, it still it wasn’t as accepted as it is today. So, as a result of that and her Roman Catholic upbringing, she chose to give me life. In the midst of finding out all of this new information from my birthmother, I also spoke with my adoptive grandmother to figure out some of the other missing pieces of my adoption story. One day I found a calendar from 1974. Under June 19th, it read “Bethaney came to us.” I always wondered where I was from March 30th until June 19th, almost two and a half months. Being a healthy, white baby girl, I should have been adopted out by Catholic Charities as soon as I left the hospital. Since there is a long waiting list for white adoptions, I could not figure out how my family got through the entire process so quickly considering that they planned on having their own child up until April 7th. After years of wondering, I finally asked my grandma about that situation. She told me that my mom was devastated by the news of her stillborn baby and no hope of having any more. My grandfather knew someone who worked for Catholic Charities. When my grandpa met with that person, the man said that in fact there was a baby girl in foster care waiting to be adopted. That baby girl was me. All of the prospective parents on the list to adopt were told about me…a healthy, white baby girl. However, due to the negative maternal history and lack of paternal history, no one wanted to take a chance on raising me. Everyone thought that I would turn out like my birthparents, a promiscuous drug addict and alcoholic, with very little education and no hope for the future. My parents on the other hand had a different opinion. My mom didn’t care anything about my birthparents and they were willing to give me an opportunity to have a product live life. My parents chose me despite the rejection I faced from the rest of the world. So the process of meeting my birthmother enlightened me to many things about my negative genetic history, possible traumatic conception by rape, and the unimaginable pain and loss felt by my adoptive mother as she gave birth to a stillborn baby. The awareness that not only was I unwanted by my birthmother, but that I was also unwanted by the entire Catholic Charities adoption list, hit me hard. I had no strong connections while in Florida that year – no family, no network of friends, and no church home. I began to question why I even existed. I was taken to the lowest point that I have ever been in my life. Then in September of 2005, without any prospective jobs available and not enough money to get me through two months, I quit my current job in Florida and I moved to Decatur, Alabama. I needed to get connected into a good church home and decided on one that I had visited several times where my best friend’s husband was one of the pastors. It was during that first year in Alabama that I began to take a step back to the basic foundation of my life and rediscover who I really was. I got saved in August of 2003 and baptized shortly thereafter. For the next eleven months I was planted in a strong Bible believing church where my spiritual life grew tremendously. I learned more about the Bible in those eleven months than I have the entire 29 years prior. Having learned so many new and troubling details about my life, I realized that in order to experience healing, I would have to go back and apply those Biblical principles that I learned to the overall picture of my life. I already acknowledged the basic foundation that God created the heaven and the earth. As I began to search the Bible for answers, I slowly realized the magnitude of God’s love and plan for each one of us. In Acts Chapter 17, it states that God made the world and all things therein. It continues on to say that not only did he create us, but he created each of us to live in a specific time period and a specific locale. God has a reason for me living here in the south in 2007. If God plans for us to live in specific regions in certain decades, then that shows me that I am definitely not a mistake. God wants me here for a purpose and planned out my birth, life, and death to accomplish that purpose long before I was ever born. Earlier on in Matthew, it states that God knows the number of hairs on my head. I have heard and read that verse many times before. However, this time that verse meant something different to me. For God to know the number of hairs on my head, a number that is constantly changing, that must mean that He cares about me. That He thinks I am important. That I matter. That I have value and purpose. While I was now understanding that God created everyone no matter what the circumstance of their conception, I still needed to process why being adopted had to be part of my life. Essentially adoptees are not wanted by their birthmother and in most situations adoption is not the first choice that couples use to have children. It is a “plan B” scenario when “plan A” does not work. By opening my eyes and allowing God to show me His divine plan for each of us, I found many verses describing how adoption is the method that God chooses to bring us into His family. I learned that adoption is God’s way of picturing His love for us. After reading the prevalence of adoption in the Bible and internalizing that, I have realized many things. Since God used the spirit of adoption to call us to be children of God through Jesus Christ, I definitely know there is no stigma in being adopted. Look at the life God chose for Moses, one of the most famous adoptees in all of history. Through being raised in the midst of his enemies, Moses learned the tools and skills that were needed to make him a leader in order to take his own people, the Israelites, out of Egypt. By acknowledging the power of God in my life and the truth that He has a purpose for me and loves me for who I am, I have accepted the fact that I am an adoptee. I no longer feel the need to keep that fact a secret. I am just as important and can make as much impact here on earth as any planned human being. Through acquiring knowledge and regaining a close relationship with God, I began to see my life in a whole new way. A life with purpose. A life made through love; the opposite of what most people would say, but it’s true! A life made through His love, which is so much more powerful than any human parents love could ever be! I began to internalize that the rapist is not my creator. Neither is a promiscuous mother my creator. I am not of child of either one but rather I am a child of God. That is all that matters. Genetics and environment both play a role in who a person grows up to be. But ultimately, a person who allows Jesus Christ to be their savior and turns over the control of their life to Him can become anything that God intends for them to be. America, however, lost that sense of purpose and love of human life when on January 22, 1973, a landmark decision by the United States Supreme Court put all unwanted children’s lives in jeopardy. On that date, Roe vs. Wade legalized abortion. Since that ruling, over 47 million abortions have been performed. That equals approximately 1.5 million abortions every year or one abortion every 20 seconds. Norma McCorvey who is “Jane Roe” from Roe vs. Wade, announced to the world that she has since changed her mind about abortion. Ms. McCorvey, the woman who is the foundation behind legalization of abortion, is now an active pro-life advocate. Right now with abortion being legal, approximately 75% of women who conceive a child as a result of rape choose to give life to their baby. Those who choose to abort are four times more likely to die within the next year due to murder, suicide and drug overdose. These women have a much higher rate of divorce, alcoholism, abusive relationships, lowered self- esteem, guilt, and depression. And as far as incest goes, the story is no different. Giving birth to the baby will help the woman heal. Choosing life also serves to keep more incest from occurring. However, most victims of incest are not given a choice and are coerced into having abortions by their families. Abortion protects the perpetrator by keeping consequences of their immoral behavior hidden. This scenario also makes the woman be not only a victim during the act of incest but also makes her victimized for a second time as she kills the baby within her. In cases of conception resulting from sexual assault, abortion not only kills an unborn human being, but it also has long- term negative ramifications for the mother as well. Banning abortions with no exceptions to that rule, in reality, protects the physical health and the mental well-being of women who are too emotionally traumatized to make rational decisions that will affect the rest of their lives. On the superficial level, abortion appears to be a good way out of a bad situation. However, only the physical severing of mother/child bond takes place. Abortion never erases the memory and emotional bond between the mother and child. According to many testimonies of victims of sexual assault and incest, giving birth to their baby enabled healing to take place by helping the woman regain a sense of self-worth. Those women who were sexually assaulted and had abortions report that the pain and anguish experienced as a result of abortion was much worse than that associated with the rape. So if you really care about what is best for the well-being of the women, if you really care about victims of sexual assault, you should be 100% pro-life…totally against abortion no matter what the scenario. My life can be summarized by some lyrics written by Avalon. There are no strangers There are no outcasts There are no orphans of God So many fallen, but hallelujah There are no orphans of God I was unwanted. I was unloved. I was orphaned. But God has no orphans. He gives us that promise when he says in Hebrews 13:5 when God tells us that he will NEVER leave us! He will NEVER forsake us! Listen to the magnitude of those versus. God will NEVER abandon us. He will NEVER deny that we are His children. Once we are children of God, we are Children of God forever! I want to live. I am thankful that my birthmother gave me that right to live. Please, give other children like me, children who may be a product of rape, children who may be a product of incest, children who just weren’t planned or wanted, give them the right to live just like what I had. GIVE THEM A RIGHT TO LIFE. Dr. Bethaney Tessitore, Au.D. nittanneey96@yahoo.com www.myspace.com/bethaneytessitore |
| Brian's Story -- born out of rape Rebecca and the others here have been very articulate in discussing the many commonalities between our stories, so I will try to focus on some of the unique aspects of my experience as a person conceived from rape. I am a Minnesotan who was conceived in 1972 as a result of the stranger rape of a seventeen- year-old girl in Wisconsin. All I know about the rape is that a mysterious man lured my birth mother into his vehicle before transporting her to an isolated location where she was held against her will and sexually assaulted. She never reported the attack to police and the rapist was never identified. Both before and after the attack, my birth mother was- and is- very pro-life. She opposes abortion throughout pregnancy and for any reason -- including the life of the mother. In fact, before the rape, she had difficulty even understanding why anyone would consider obtaining an abortion. But when she was impregnated from rape, she did just that -- she seriously considered obtaining an abortion. She did not do so because she was lacking in respect for human life; she did so because she was almost as aghast at the idea of bearing the child of her rapist as she was at killing her own child. Fortunately, my birth mother chose a very different course of action from that of Rebecca’s birth mother. My birth mother decided that having an abortion would be wrong. She believes that God has a purpose for even my life. But the experience of bearing a child from a rapist and being reminded of the attack just by looking at me was -- and is -- a traumatic experience, nonetheless. And, it was worsened by her inability to provide a good home for me. The experience of adopting out a child is, itself, an agonizing experience for many women, including my birth mother. My birth mother was so distraught at having relinquished a child that she would weep every Mother’s Day. My birth mother’s story should be a lesson to both pro-choicers and pro-lifers. Pro-choicers should realize that many women who become pregnant from rape truly believe that life begins at conception and that abortion is wrong. They should also realize that many women wish to bear the child and either keep the child or put the child up for adoption. So, when presidential candidates declare that the abortion decision is about “whether to become a parent,” they fail to fully recognize the right of women to freely make decisions based on their own values. I am asking pro-choicers to support efforts to 1) aggressively enforce laws against sex offenders and domestic abusers, 2) pass laws that would require abortion providers and other healthcare providers to screen for sexual or domestic abuse, 3) provide adequate financial assistance to rape survivors so that they can raise the resulting child on one- or no- income, and 4) ensure that women can go to school or work while pregnant or raising a child. Right-to-lifers, on the other hand, should realize that many of the concerns that motivate rape victims to pursue abortions are legitimate. Rape is a terribly traumatic event for a woman and it is a perverted way of making her pregnant. Our response to rape impregnation cannot be limited to telling women that their doctors will be imprisoned if they choose abortion. We should also 1) push for stiff sentences being imposed against sex offenders, 2) reform adoption laws to prevent rapists from blocking the adoptions of their rape-conceived children, 3) back generous and aggressively- enforced child support laws and government assistance for mothers impregnated through rape, 4) ensure that pregnant women are safe in schools and workplaces, and 5) work so that women do not feel pressured into choosing abortion. A perfect pro- life response to rape impregnation and resulting abortion is a provision in Wisconsin law that makes pregnancy an aggravating factor in sexual assault. As a result of the provision, a man who impregnates a woman through rape is guilty of first-degree sexual assault and may be sent to prison for as long as sixty years. Please understand that while those of us who are conceived in rape or incest may have a diverse set of attitudes toward our biological fathers based on our individual circumstances, all of us deplore what they did. When I came to discover that rape conception was the genesis of my own existence, I was extremely angry at my biological father for how he treated my birth mother. I wondered in exasperation and despair how any human being -- my own biological father at that -- could be so selfish and callously disrespectful as to bring about a rape conception just for some wrongful motive. It seemed incomprehensible. His behavior particularly angered me because, even though I probably have many of the same natural tendencies that he possessed, I could not fathom attacking, threatening, violating, kidnapping, coercing, or hurting a girl. The argument that abortion should be allowed in the case of rape on the grounds of compassion is an affront to women like my birth mother. She chose to give birth to me -- not because it was right for her -- because doing otherwise would have been wrong for anyone. What the "compassion argument" suggests is that immoral actions can be justified based on the personal circumstances and preferences of the perpetrator. Not only does such an argument denigrate my birth mother’s courageous sacrifice on my behalf by failing to recognize her ability to identify morally wrongful behavior, it also expresses lenience for the very moral subjectivism that rapists use to justify their heinous actions. As an example, one rapist claimed that he raped because he was abused as a child by his mother and therefore was angry at women. Moral subjectivism has become rampant in our society. You can see it in religion when churches make excuses for pedophiles and rapists, you can see it in the media when sexual violence against women is glorified, you can see it in schools when fraternities spike alcoholic drinks with date rape drugs, and you can see it in workplaces when women are harassed. The acceptance of all of these behaviors communicates to potential rapists that their behavior can be justified on subjectivist grounds. We need to counter this ideology with one that acknowledges that morality is objective and, specifically, that respects women and their personal boundaries. Thank you for reading my story. -- Brian from Minnesota |
| Kim's Story (Mother to a daughter conceived when she was raped) *This piece was written by Kim to provide comfort to those who were conceived out of rape or incest, as well as other moms who were rape victims. I just want to let everyone know that life does not always turn out like it should and we can question why or why me? But sometimes, there are just no answers for those questions. What matters is you. And you are here on this earth and you are important. Your life matters. You have a lot to offer. Maybe in life you have been told horrible things or made to feel like you were a mistake. But whoever made you feel this way or said any bad things -- they were wrong. You were created for a reason. There is a purpose and meaning for every person and child and it is up to you to take advantage of this life and make the best of it and to let the person inside shine through the pain and show how special you are. People wonder how I can keep and love my daughter who was created the night of my rape. They don't have to understand it and I don't have to explain to them how. I just do. Why? Because she is mine. She is a child and she is innocent, as well as any child who was brought into this world in such ways. Don't let anyone ever pull you down or make you second-guess why you are here. You are no different than anyone else. You are people and caring and deserve the best out of life. We all here have been through a lot, whether we are on one side or the other -- the mom or the child. We have a chance to do something with our lives. I take my pain and I say "No -- you won't win." I will take my heart and shine through with love and hope. Because without hope, life is so hard. I have been there and yes, there will probably be days to come when I have a bad day. But I will make it through it. It hurts to see such pain inflicted on the children who were brought into this world as a result of rape/incest. Because you had no part, no say, no control over what happened. All you are is an innocent person who deserves a shot in life, who deserves respect and love. I just want to let you all know (moms here and children) that I do respect you and I do love and care for you and hold your thoughts and feelings in my heart. Hold your head up. No one can take away the gift you are. Take care everyone. -- Kim |
| Tony Kiessling's Story, conceived by "acquaintance rape" (no relation to Rebecca Kiessling) From an early age, I knew I was different from the other kids. I grew up fatherless, being raised by a single mom who lived with her older sister and mother. I have no brothers or sisters. These circumstances were not common in suburbia in the 1960's. All my friends had fathers. All my cousins too. I didn't have an explanation for it. I think most of my friends assumed my father had died somehow. I guess I came to believe that too. As I got into my teenage years, I knew some things didn't add up -- like why my mom still had her maiden name. Why she had never married? Then one day, when I was 18, I found out the truth -- my mother had been raped. Raped by a man that she knew. The circumstances under which my mom told me the truth are vague to me today. I do remember that she told me the truth in a letter and that it was always very difficult for her to talk about. There were only about three times that we actually talked about it but never at length. One thing I know for sure is that I was about the most important person to her. She gave up a lot to raise me as her own. As for what happened to my mom well she had been working in a diner at the time and there was a regular customer that winter. She talked to him and even knew his name. And then one night in February, somehow he got her into his car, drove to a park, and raped her. He left her there in the park and my mom was found a couple hours later by the police. Nothing ever came of the police report. Wow! That news hit me hard. So, I was one of "those people." I didn't know what to do, so I buried that information. I ignored the truth of my conception and hid it from my consciousness. I rebelled. I rebelled against family and against God. Suddenly, I wasn't too sure about God either. Oh, I knew about God. From my earliest years, I knew that there had to be a God. For two summers, I had attended vacation Bible school when I was about 10/11 years old. That second year, I remember reading the tract and saying the "sinners prayer" at the end, asking Jesus into my life. And when I was 18, right before I found out the truth of my conception, I had watched a Billy Graham Crusade on TV and became convinced again of the reality of the cross. But that news of my conception just didn't fit into my notion of things at the time, and I turned away from the cross and the church -- and my family to a lesser degree. I went on a journey to explore what I believed to be "the pleasurable side of life" in order to try to forget the rest. That journey lasted about five years, and one day, I realized how miserable I was. I remember surfing the TV one night (this is back in the day when surfing the TV meant seeing what was on each of the 7 channels available) and stumbling upon a Billy Graham Crusade. He talked that night about Jesus' parable of the Prodigal Son. I felt as though he was really talking straight to me. I had not gone off to a foreign land, but I was just as far away as I could be spiritually and mentally. And much like that son in the parable, I was worn out by all that riotous living I had been doing. And, the answer to my problem was the same -- repent, get up, and go home. I rediscovered my relationship with God that night through the death and resurrection of Christ. Since that time nearly 25 years ago, I came to know more about the relationship I have with God. One of the most important things I have learned is God's promise in Psalm 68 to be a father to the fatherless. I came to own this verse as God's personal promise to me. He cared enough about me to tell me he would be my father. I also see how God provided father-like men who taught me things at different times in my life. One of the most important was a man named Len who was an elder in the first church I joined. Len taught me a great deal about being a Christian man with flaws. I would like to say that my life has been a nice, easy, uphill walk, but it hasn't. I never had an easy time talking about my conception. For a long time the truth was something only my mom and I knew. I made every effort to avoid having to talk about my father's side of the family. Even when my wife was pregnant with our first child and the pediatrician' s assistant asked about family history, I avoided any information about my father. Of course, I really do not know very much about him anyway. The only thing I know about him for certain is that he had brown eyes. My mom told me once that she could see his face in mine, so I guess that's why I keep part of my face hidden behind a beard. Then one day shortly after my first child was born, I told my wife the truth. My wife never really pressed for any information about my father. She waited until I was ready to talk about it and then I told her everything I knew. My wife has been very supportive of my life in every way possible. For 45 years, I had never met another person who was conceived in rape. Then one day while driving, I had heard a radio broadcast of Dr. James Dobson -- Focus on the Family, with two women who each were accompanied by their adult children who had been conceived in rape. This was the very first time I ever heard of another person conceived in rape! I knew there had to be other people out there like me, but I had not met any. Then about a year ago, I was searching the internet for information regarding my maternal family's history, and I stumbled upon Rebecca's website (because of the Kiessling name.) As I read her story, I was shocked to find another person like me, and with the same last name! I had to find out more, so I contacted Rebecca. My wife and I went to meet her when she gave a talk an hour from where we live. It was oddly liberating to finally meet someone who had a history similar to mine. Since then, I have met a host of other people on the Stigma group who all share the same conception story as me! Some wonder if I am pro-life. Absolutely! Some have wondered if my mom was prolife. Absolutely! I know from our few conversations on the subject that she would not change a thing regarding giving birth to me and raising me. She could not imagine a world that did not include me and, in time, her three grandchildren. She had no issue with adoption -- it just wasn't the path she wanted. But abortion? She often said, "Two wrongs do not make a right, and it is wrong to end one life because it inconveniences your own." And she also said that, for all the pain that was involved, it was worth it in the end. She died a few years ago at the end of a life-long battle with type 1 diabetes and its various complications. As for my mom's spiritual journey, I know that the rape caused her some real doubts that stayed with her. She believed in God and Christ, and for a very long time, she was Catholic. In fact, I bear a testimony to her Catholic faith as I am named after two saints. For most of my life, I hid the truth of my conception from everyone -- even myself. It may seem strange now to put this testimony out on the web. But I have come to the place in my life where I know there are other people like me out there and other people like my mom as well. Now I want to join Rebecca and the others represented here and say that our lives have value and purpose. People conceived in rape do not have to hide and be ashamed. We were uniquely created by God, though the circumstances were extreme. And I personally want to say that God is indeed still fulfilling his promise to be a father to the fatherless. -- Tony Kiessling |
| Juda Myers' Story -- Singer, Songwriter, Speaker from Houston, Texas. Juda can be reached by e-mail at juda@juda4praise.com. Knowing I had been adopted as a baby, I longed to find my birth mom to express my gratitude for the life I’d been given. Upon obtaining information that my mother had been raped (but not having any idea of the horrible details,) I was devastated. I cried for the pain my mother had endured and I then I cried for "who I am." All of the voices of worthlessness I’d previously heard in my head had returned “with proof.” I sat and cried, desperately wondering if I should end it all. Then I realized I had no choice but to live on. After all, in 1986, I had sold my life for the price of another’s, and Jesus’ life was worth far too much to ignore that cost. So I proclaimed out loud, “My life does not belong to me and I cannot take it!” But the resulting depression of learning I was conceived in rape paralyzed me, and I refused to speak to anyone -- not even to my husband who had been eagerly awaiting for me to share my news with him. My anger caused me to instantly hate all men and I unfairly threw my husband into the "horrible male bag." I'd always had a very vibrant personality, with people describing me as "animated" and "happy." But then all I could think of was that I had the blood of a rapist running through my veins and it felt like a demon crawling around inside of me. I felt like all the life had been sucked out of me and there was not even a smile left. I felt robotic and I simply feared my life was over. The next day, I happened to have an appointment with a woman to work on a song. I was sure my acting ability would allow me to pretend all was well since the woman didn’t know anything about my recent adoption search. As this woman shared a song she’d been working on for another client, I suddenly broke down screaming for her to stop. It had been a song about men using and losing women, and I couldn’t take it! Burying my head, I saw a vision of myself, falling down an abyss, which grew deeper and darker. The woman jumped off her piano bench, came to me and said, “I don’t know what you’re going through, but God knew you before you were ever conceived!” Right at that moment, I saw a different vision -- a hand reached down, grabbed my arm and catapulted me into a brilliant light. It was so bright, I could hardly keep my eyes open. I then raised my head, looked the woman in the eyes and joyfully declared, “I believe it. I BELIEVE IT!” In one moment, I was having a nervous breakdown, and the next, I was set free! The woman said she witnessed a true miracle. What made the difference in just a matter of seconds? It was my choice to believe the truth – that God did indeed know me before I was ever conceived! This experiential truth brought me such great freedom, that I now feel I can’t be deterred from sharing with everyone this freedom to live, love, forgive and be forgiven. What is even more remarkable is that I had no idea my birth mother was living this truth as well. On December 7, 2005, I finally got the opportunity I had waited for all of my life. The good news was that my mom was waiting for me, hoping and praying that the day would come that we’d finally reunite. When our bright blue eyes met, the joy was unspeakable! She was so sweet and loving to me, so after about an hour, I asked if she'd feel comfortable telling me the circumstances of my conception. I was horrified to hear my birth mother describe how she had been raped by eight men and subsequently became pregnant with me. With my head buried in her lap, I cried deeply as she reassured me, comforted me and told me not to cry. Her next words were unforgettable: “I’ve forgiven those men and look what God has done. He has brought you back to me!” The peace (and love) that passes all understanding as described in Phillippians 4:6,7 was very real and overwhelming. It inspired to write a song called “God is Faithful,” which I presented to my birth mom on Valentine’s Day, 2006 – my birthday. Since then, I’ve discovered that this song has the ability to penetrate the hearts of men and women, young or old, any race or culture. Through my story, people have the opportunity to see the goodness of God instead of horror and tragedy. I’ve found that even previously “pro-choice” people have been left speechless. After all, there is a serious question to be considered: would I deserve to pay the death penalty for a crime my biological father had committed? What kind of a person would say “yes”?!!! When my birth mom and I were interviewed together for a television program, she said she couldn't kill a puppy or a kitten and certainly wouldn't kill a baby! Though her own mom had tried to talk her into aborting me, she says she never considered doing so. She tells me she is proud of me and that she loves me and wants everyone to know, "If I can do it, anyone can." "YOU'RE MY DAUGHTER!!!" she says, and that makes me feel great! For many years now, I have been sharing the love of God, even being a representative of “The Voice of the Martyrs.” But now, there is a personal passion in my testimony of God’s love of mankind. A professional (paint) artist for the past 11 years, wife of 18 1/2 years and mother to two grown sons, I find humor and purpose in my own trials, and I rejoice for having been taught great lessons. Not thinking myself any more special than any other person created of God, I try to bring meaning and purpose to others who have been stuck in doubt, hopelessness and despair. Through song and word, I hope that my message is changing the way people think about life and their own lives. With the release of my new CD, “God is Faithful”, I have been invited to South Africa to share God’s greatness and love. And I look forward to sharing anywhere with anyone. -- Juda Myers juda@juda4praise.com |
| Pam Stenzel's Story -- Pam is a professional pro-life/abstinence speaker and author of the book Sex Has A Price Tag. Her website is www.pamstenzel.com. In 1964, a fifteen year old girl was raped, became pregnant, and decided to carry her unborn child to term. Five months after the baby girl was born, in an act of courage and love the young mother provided her child a better environment by giving her to an adoptive family. That child was Pam Stenzel. She is the oldest of 8 children…7 adopted…1 biological, and her extended family includes 38 adopted children in all. Following her graduation from Liberty University with a degree in psychology, Pam moved to Minneapolis, MN where she began to work with New Life Family Services, and young girls who were planning to place their children for adoption. Pam was approached by a group of concerned parents, to develop a two-hour program for the Rally for Life 1992, a conference on sexual abstinence. She developed the program mixing media and music, her own talk and the testimonies of young girls. The response of students, parents and the community was so overwhelming that Pam began to speaking full-time across the United States. In 1993, Pam’s talk, “Sex has a Price Tag”, was produced as a video. No one was prepared for the explosive response. The video has since been translated into 11 languages, won the Charleston Film Festival Award in 1995 and is currently used in the US, Canada, Mexico, Central and South America, Australia, Ireland, Europe, the Ukraine, Romania, Poland and throughout Africa. In 1998 Vision Video and Gateway films produced the film series, “Sex, Love and Relationships” in Santa Monica, California. It won the Crown Award for Curriculum of the Year in November 1999. Pam’s current videography includes: “Time to Wait for Sex”, “Sex Has a Price Tag 2000”, “Character Matters”, “Sex, Love and Relationships” and “Take a Look in the Mirror”. She is also the founder of Enlighten Communications, Inc. which is an organization focused and committed to the betterment of children and families in America and around the world. Enlighten offers a broad new model approach for those desiring to embrace strong character in today’s youth. Enlighten empower parents, youth leaders and educators to lead informed discussions on sexual abstinence and the benefits it produces. Pam now travels both domestically and internationally, speaking to over 500,000 teens a year. Surprisingly many of her requests to speak come from teens themselves. She has been a guest on numerous national TV and radio programs, including: “Hannity and Combs”, “ABC Radio’s Sean Hannity Show”, “The Dr. Laura Show”, “700 Club” (CBN), “Politically Incorrect”. Pam is a dynamic, charismatic and educated expert on Sex, Love and Relationships. She understands the perils that young people face as they make adult choices, and is dedicated to reviving the character and integrity of today’s youth. |
| This page is a compilation of life-affirming personal stories of men and women who were conceived in rape, including the following: Rebecca Kiessling from Michigan, Mary Payne from Oklahoma, Russell Saltzman from Missouri, Bethaney Tessitore from Alabama, Brian from Minnesota, Jenni Maas with Human Life International, Tony Kiessling, Juda Myers from Texas, Jaquese Gaskins from Michigan (attending college in California), "Godchaser" from Alabama, and Pam Stenzel with Enlighten Communications. You'll also find links to children of rape stories on the web to the right. For more information on Rebecca Kiessling, go to "Rebecca Kiessling Home". |
Rebecca Kiessling's story: Author of the Heritage House '76 pamphlet "Conceived in Rape: A Story of Hope"
I was adopted nearly from birth. At 18, I learned that I was conceived out of a
brutal rape at knife-point by a serial rapist. Like most people, I'd never
considered that abortion applied to my life, but once I received this information,
all of a sudden I realized that, not only does it apply to my life, but it has to do
with my very existence. It was as if I could hear the echoes of all those people
who, with the most sympathetic of tones, would say, “Well, except in cases of
rape. . . ," or who would rather fervently exclaim in disgust: “Especially is cases
of rape!!!” All these people are out there who don’t even know me, but are
standing in judgment of my life, so quick to dismiss it just because of how I was
conceived. I felt like I was now going to have to justify my own existence, that I
would have to prove myself to the world that I shouldn’t have been aborted and
that I was worthy of living. I also remember feeling like garbage because of
people who would say that my life was like garbage -- that I was disposable.
Please understand that whenever you identify yourself as being “pro-choice,” or
whenever you make that exception for rape, what that really translates into is you
being able to stand before me, look me in the eye, and say to me, "I think your
mother should have been able to abort you.” That’s a pretty powerful statement.
I would never say anything like that to someone. I would never to someone, “If I
had my way, you’d be dead right now.” But that is the reality with which I live. I
challenge anyone to describe for me how it's not. It’s not like people say, “Oh
well, I’m pro-choice except for that little window of opportunity in 1968/69, so that
you, Rebecca, could have been born.” No -- this is the ruthless reality of that position, and I can tell you that it hurts and it’
s mean. But I know that most people don’t put a face to this issue. For them, it’s just a concept – a quick cliché, and they
sweep it under the rug and forget about it. I do hope that, as a child of rape, I can help to put a face and a voice to this
issue.
I've often experienced those who would confront me and try to dismiss me with quick quips like, “Oh well, you were lucky!”
Be sure that my survival has nothing to do with luck. The fact that I’m alive today has to do with choices that were made
by our society at large, people who fought to ensure abortion was illegal in Michigan at the time – even in cases of rape,
people who argued to protect my life, and people who voted pro-life. I wasn’t lucky. I was protected. And would you
really rationalize that our brothers and sisters who are being aborted every day are just somehow "unlucky"?!!
Although my birthmother was thrilled to meet me, she did tell me that she actually went to two back-alley abortionists and I
was almost aborted. After the rape, the police referred her to a counselor who basically told her that abortion was the
thing to do. She said there were no crisis pregnancy centers back then, but my birthmother assured me that if there had
been, she would have gone if at least for a little more guidance. The rape counselor is the one who set her up with the
back-alley abortionists. For the first, she said it was the typical back-alley conditions that you hear about as to why "she
should have been able to safely and legally abort" me -- blood and dirt all over the table and floor. Those back-alley
conditions and the fact that it was illegal caused her to back out, as with most women.
Then she got hooked up with a more expensive abortionist. This time she was to meet someone at night by the Detroit
Institute of Arts. Someone would approach her, say her name, blindfold her, put her in the backseat of a car, take her
and then abort me . . . , then blindfold her again and drop her back off. And do you know what I think is so pathetic? It’s
that I know there are an awful lot of people out there who would hear me describe those conditions and their response
would just be a pitiful shake of the head in disgust: “It’s just so awful that your birthmother should have had to have gone
through that in order to have been able to abort you!” Like that’s compassionate?!! I fully realize that they think they are
being compassionate, but that’s pretty cold-hearted from where I stand, don’t you think? That is my life that they are so
callously talking about and there is nothing compassionate about that position. My birthmother is okay – her life went on
and in fact, she's doing great, but I would have been killed, my life would have been ended. I may not look the same as I
did when I was four years old or four days old yet unborn in my mother’s womb, but that was still undeniably me and I
would have been killed through a brutal abortion.
According to the research of Dr. David Reardon, director of the Elliot Institute, co-editor of the book Victims and Victors:
Speaking Out About Their Pregnancies, Abortions and Children Resulting From Sexual Assault, and author of the article
"Rape, Incest and Abortion: Searching Beyond the Myths," most women who become pregnant out of sexual assault do
not want an abortion and are in fact worse-off after an abortion. http://www.afterabortion.org. So most people's position
on abortion in cases of rape is based upon faulty premises: 1) the rape victim would want an abortion, 2) she'd be better
off with an abortion and 3) that child's life just isn't worth having to put her through the pregnancy. I hope that my story,
and the other stories posted on this site, will be able to help dispel that last myth.
I wish I could say that my birthmother was with the majority of victims and that she didn't want to abort me, but she had
been convinced otherwise. However, the nasty disposition and foul mouth of this second back-alley abortionist, along with
a fear for her own safety, caused her to back out. When she told him by phone that she wasn't interested in this risky
arrangement, this abortion doctor insulted her and called her names. To her surprise, he called again the next day to try
to talk her into aborting me once again, and again she declined and was hurled insults. So that was it -- after that she just
couldn’t go through with it. My birthmother was then heading into her second trimester – far more dangerous, far more
expensive to have me aborted.
I’m so thankful my life was spared, but a lot of well-meaning Christians would say things to me like, “Well you see, God
really meant for you to be here!” Or others may say, "You were meant to be here." But I know that God intends for every
unborn child to be given the same opportunity to be born, and I can’t sit contentedly saying, “Well, at least my life was
spared.” Or, “I deserved it. Look what I’ve done with my life.” And millions of others didn’t? I can’t do that. Can you?
Can you just sit there and say, “At least I was wanted . . . at least I’m alive . . . ,” or just, “Whatever!”? Is that really the
kind of person who you want to be? Cold-hearted? A facade of compassion on the exterior, but stone-cold and vacated
from within? Do you claim to care about women but couldn't care less about me because I stand as a reminder of
something you'd rather not face and that you'd hate for others to consider either? Do I not fit your agenda?
In law school, I’d also have classmates say things to me like, “Oh well! If you’d been aborted, you wouldn’t be here today,
and you wouldn’t know the difference anyway, so what does it matter?” Believe it or not, some of the top pro-abortion
philosophers use that same kind of argument: “The fetus never knows what hits him, so there’s no such fetus to miss his
life.” So I guess as long as you stab someone in the back while he’s sleeping, then it’s okay, because he doesn’t know
what hits him?! I’d explain to my classmates how their same logic would justify “me killing you today, because you wouldn’t
be here tomorrow, and you wouldn’t know the difference anyway, so what does it matter?" And they’d just stand their with
their jaws dropped. It’s amazing what a little logic can do, when you really think this thing through – like we were
supposed to be doing in law school – and consider what we’re really talking about: there are lives who are not here today
because they were aborted. It’s like the old saying: “If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it
make a noise?” Well, yeah! And if a baby is aborted, and no one else is around to know about it, does it matter? The
answer is, “YES! Their lives matter. My life matters. Your life matters and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!
The world is a different place because it was illegal for my birthmother to abort me back then. Your life is different
because she could not legally abort me because you are sitting here reading my words today! But you don’t have to
have an impact on audiences for your life to matter. There is something we are all missing here today because of the
generations now who have been aborted and it matters.
One of the greatest things I’ve learned is that the rapist is NOT my creator, as some people would have me believe. My
value and identity are not established as a “product of rape,” but a child of God. Psalm 68:5,6 declares: “A father to the
fatherless . . . is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families.” And Psalm 27:10 tells us “Though my father
and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.” I know that there is no stigma in being adopted. We are told in the
New Testament that it is in the spirit of adoption that we are called to be God’s children through Christ our Lord. So He
must have thought pretty highly of adoption to use that as a picture of His love for us!
Most importantly, I’ve learned, I’ll be able to teach my children, and I teach others that your value is not based on the
circumstances of your conception, your parents, your siblings, your mate, your house, your clothes, your looks, your IQ,
your grades, your scores, your money, your occupation, your successes or failures, or your abilities or disabilities – these
are the lies that are perpetuated in our society. In fact, most motivational speakers tell their audiences that if they could
just make something of themselves and meet this certain societal standard, then they too could “be somebody.” But the
fact is that no one could ever meet all of these ridiculous standards, and many people will fall incredibly short and so,
does that mean that they’re not “somebody” or that they’re “nobody?” The truth is that you don't have to prove your
worth to anyone, and if you really want to know what your value is, all you have to do is look to the Cross – because that’s
the price that was paid for you life! That’s the infinite value that God placed on your life! He thinks you are pretty
valuable, and so do I. Won't you join me in affirming others' value as well, in word and in action?
For those of you who would say, "Well, I don't believe in God and I don't believe in the Bible, so I'm pro-choice," please
read my essay, "The Right of the Unborn Child Not to be Unjustly Killed -- a philosophy of rights approach." I assure you,
it will be worth your time.
For Life,
Rebecca Kiessling
rebecca_kiessling@yahoo.com or
rebecca@rebeccakiessling.com
I was adopted nearly from birth. At 18, I learned that I was conceived out of a
brutal rape at knife-point by a serial rapist. Like most people, I'd never
considered that abortion applied to my life, but once I received this information,
all of a sudden I realized that, not only does it apply to my life, but it has to do
with my very existence. It was as if I could hear the echoes of all those people
who, with the most sympathetic of tones, would say, “Well, except in cases of
rape. . . ," or who would rather fervently exclaim in disgust: “Especially is cases
of rape!!!” All these people are out there who don’t even know me, but are
standing in judgment of my life, so quick to dismiss it just because of how I was
conceived. I felt like I was now going to have to justify my own existence, that I
would have to prove myself to the world that I shouldn’t have been aborted and
that I was worthy of living. I also remember feeling like garbage because of
people who would say that my life was like garbage -- that I was disposable.
Please understand that whenever you identify yourself as being “pro-choice,” or
whenever you make that exception for rape, what that really translates into is you
being able to stand before me, look me in the eye, and say to me, "I think your
mother should have been able to abort you.” That’s a pretty powerful statement.
I would never say anything like that to someone. I would never to someone, “If I
had my way, you’d be dead right now.” But that is the reality with which I live. I
challenge anyone to describe for me how it's not. It’s not like people say, “Oh
well, I’m pro-choice except for that little window of opportunity in 1968/69, so that
you, Rebecca, could have been born.” No -- this is the ruthless reality of that position, and I can tell you that it hurts and it’
s mean. But I know that most people don’t put a face to this issue. For them, it’s just a concept – a quick cliché, and they
sweep it under the rug and forget about it. I do hope that, as a child of rape, I can help to put a face and a voice to this
issue.
I've often experienced those who would confront me and try to dismiss me with quick quips like, “Oh well, you were lucky!”
Be sure that my survival has nothing to do with luck. The fact that I’m alive today has to do with choices that were made
by our society at large, people who fought to ensure abortion was illegal in Michigan at the time – even in cases of rape,
people who argued to protect my life, and people who voted pro-life. I wasn’t lucky. I was protected. And would you
really rationalize that our brothers and sisters who are being aborted every day are just somehow "unlucky"?!!
Although my birthmother was thrilled to meet me, she did tell me that she actually went to two back-alley abortionists and I
was almost aborted. After the rape, the police referred her to a counselor who basically told her that abortion was the
thing to do. She said there were no crisis pregnancy centers back then, but my birthmother assured me that if there had
been, she would have gone if at least for a little more guidance. The rape counselor is the one who set her up with the
back-alley abortionists. For the first, she said it was the typical back-alley conditions that you hear about as to why "she
should have been able to safely and legally abort" me -- blood and dirt all over the table and floor. Those back-alley
conditions and the fact that it was illegal caused her to back out, as with most women.
Then she got hooked up with a more expensive abortionist. This time she was to meet someone at night by the Detroit
Institute of Arts. Someone would approach her, say her name, blindfold her, put her in the backseat of a car, take her
and then abort me . . . , then blindfold her again and drop her back off. And do you know what I think is so pathetic? It’s
that I know there are an awful lot of people out there who would hear me describe those conditions and their response
would just be a pitiful shake of the head in disgust: “It’s just so awful that your birthmother should have had to have gone
through that in order to have been able to abort you!” Like that’s compassionate?!! I fully realize that they think they are
being compassionate, but that’s pretty cold-hearted from where I stand, don’t you think? That is my life that they are so
callously talking about and there is nothing compassionate about that position. My birthmother is okay – her life went on
and in fact, she's doing great, but I would have been killed, my life would have been ended. I may not look the same as I
did when I was four years old or four days old yet unborn in my mother’s womb, but that was still undeniably me and I
would have been killed through a brutal abortion.
According to the research of Dr. David Reardon, director of the Elliot Institute, co-editor of the book Victims and Victors:
Speaking Out About Their Pregnancies, Abortions and Children Resulting From Sexual Assault, and author of the article
"Rape, Incest and Abortion: Searching Beyond the Myths," most women who become pregnant out of sexual assault do
not want an abortion and are in fact worse-off after an abortion. http://www.afterabortion.org. So most people's position
on abortion in cases of rape is based upon faulty premises: 1) the rape victim would want an abortion, 2) she'd be better
off with an abortion and 3) that child's life just isn't worth having to put her through the pregnancy. I hope that my story,
and the other stories posted on this site, will be able to help dispel that last myth.
I wish I could say that my birthmother was with the majority of victims and that she didn't want to abort me, but she had
been convinced otherwise. However, the nasty disposition and foul mouth of this second back-alley abortionist, along with
a fear for her own safety, caused her to back out. When she told him by phone that she wasn't interested in this risky
arrangement, this abortion doctor insulted her and called her names. To her surprise, he called again the next day to try
to talk her into aborting me once again, and again she declined and was hurled insults. So that was it -- after that she just
couldn’t go through with it. My birthmother was then heading into her second trimester – far more dangerous, far more
expensive to have me aborted.
I’m so thankful my life was spared, but a lot of well-meaning Christians would say things to me like, “Well you see, God
really meant for you to be here!” Or others may say, "You were meant to be here." But I know that God intends for every
unborn child to be given the same opportunity to be born, and I can’t sit contentedly saying, “Well, at least my life was
spared.” Or, “I deserved it. Look what I’ve done with my life.” And millions of others didn’t? I can’t do that. Can you?
Can you just sit there and say, “At least I was wanted . . . at least I’m alive . . . ,” or just, “Whatever!”? Is that really the
kind of person who you want to be? Cold-hearted? A facade of compassion on the exterior, but stone-cold and vacated
from within? Do you claim to care about women but couldn't care less about me because I stand as a reminder of
something you'd rather not face and that you'd hate for others to consider either? Do I not fit your agenda?
In law school, I’d also have classmates say things to me like, “Oh well! If you’d been aborted, you wouldn’t be here today,
and you wouldn’t know the difference anyway, so what does it matter?” Believe it or not, some of the top pro-abortion
philosophers use that same kind of argument: “The fetus never knows what hits him, so there’s no such fetus to miss his
life.” So I guess as long as you stab someone in the back while he’s sleeping, then it’s okay, because he doesn’t know
what hits him?! I’d explain to my classmates how their same logic would justify “me killing you today, because you wouldn’t
be here tomorrow, and you wouldn’t know the difference anyway, so what does it matter?" And they’d just stand their with
their jaws dropped. It’s amazing what a little logic can do, when you really think this thing through – like we were
supposed to be doing in law school – and consider what we’re really talking about: there are lives who are not here today
because they were aborted. It’s like the old saying: “If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it
make a noise?” Well, yeah! And if a baby is aborted, and no one else is around to know about it, does it matter? The
answer is, “YES! Their lives matter. My life matters. Your life matters and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!
The world is a different place because it was illegal for my birthmother to abort me back then. Your life is different
because she could not legally abort me because you are sitting here reading my words today! But you don’t have to
have an impact on audiences for your life to matter. There is something we are all missing here today because of the
generations now who have been aborted and it matters.
One of the greatest things I’ve learned is that the rapist is NOT my creator, as some people would have me believe. My
value and identity are not established as a “product of rape,” but a child of God. Psalm 68:5,6 declares: “A father to the
fatherless . . . is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families.” And Psalm 27:10 tells us “Though my father
and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.” I know that there is no stigma in being adopted. We are told in the
New Testament that it is in the spirit of adoption that we are called to be God’s children through Christ our Lord. So He
must have thought pretty highly of adoption to use that as a picture of His love for us!
Most importantly, I’ve learned, I’ll be able to teach my children, and I teach others that your value is not based on the
circumstances of your conception, your parents, your siblings, your mate, your house, your clothes, your looks, your IQ,
your grades, your scores, your money, your occupation, your successes or failures, or your abilities or disabilities – these
are the lies that are perpetuated in our society. In fact, most motivational speakers tell their audiences that if they could
just make something of themselves and meet this certain societal standard, then they too could “be somebody.” But the
fact is that no one could ever meet all of these ridiculous standards, and many people will fall incredibly short and so,
does that mean that they’re not “somebody” or that they’re “nobody?” The truth is that you don't have to prove your
worth to anyone, and if you really want to know what your value is, all you have to do is look to the Cross – because that’s
the price that was paid for you life! That’s the infinite value that God placed on your life! He thinks you are pretty
valuable, and so do I. Won't you join me in affirming others' value as well, in word and in action?
For those of you who would say, "Well, I don't believe in God and I don't believe in the Bible, so I'm pro-choice," please
read my essay, "The Right of the Unborn Child Not to be Unjustly Killed -- a philosophy of rights approach." I assure you,
it will be worth your time.
For Life,
Rebecca Kiessling
rebecca_kiessling@yahoo.com or
rebecca@rebeccakiessling.com
| Jaquese Gaskins, conceived in rape, from Detroit, Mi (attending college in Redding, California) Author of "I'm the One" Breaking the Generational Curse Throughout the years I knew that I was different. I only had one friend which is still my only best friend. I was just the quiet smart girl in school. I feel in this past year I have overcome most of the generational curses that lie deep within my family history and I felt that it was time to break them. By me writing this book, I feel that I have a closer relationship with God. I also believe that this book can help someone break some of the generational curses that they are struggling with. My major is Biology and my minor is Bible and Theology. I plan on going to medical school and becoming an OB/GYN. I do believe that my background has influenced my career path. I feel that it is my duty to bring life into this world. -- Jaquese Gaskins (more details to come soon) |
| "Godchaser" -- born out of rape, a teenaged young man from Mobile, Alabama What can I say -- my life is like a movie and it's definitely a "sequel drama." I have been abandoned by every father I have ever had. So I get the privilege of calling God my true father. I was born out of rape, and I have fought in spiritual warfare since I was seven. I am the lead Guitarist in a band called 4NAILS. The Lord has blessed me with the ability to write novels that He has inspired. I live fully focused on Him, praying for my family. All my life I've been proof that God does indeed exist. If it wasn't for my mother and Christ, I would be dead by now. I was what most of the world would see as a mistake, a child born out of rape with no father. In a nutshell, almost everyone I ever trusted has lied to me. I always wanted a father as a little boy. At 2-1/2, I was praying for a dad. I never got one who would always be there for me. My mom knew of my prayers and when she was asked to marry, she accepted not for love, but for me. 5 years later, the man had me bad mouthing my mom behind her back, causing me to stay 4 years younger than my actual age. My mom found some child porn one day in one of his suitcases and we figured out later that he molested my step-brothers and possibly was out for me. I have never "fit in," but I have always had friends. The Lord is still testing me and I am struggling, but He has given me one of the most precious gifts -- he filled my heart with all the fatherly love I have ever missed, and it all happened at once. Maybe if it wasn't for that, I wouldn't be alive now or later on, but I would have eventually died had it not been for that moment. No one could ever tell me God doesn't exist. My mom recently had to have her spleen removed and my "Paw Paw" has had a couple of strokes. I am currently living with my grandparents praying for patience and clarity. I have come very far in the past few years, but ultimately, it's not quite there yet, but it will be. It seems that I have finally hit an upward slope. Downhill is not my option. I am currently writing three novels -- two of those are the launch of a trilogy. These past few years have rewarded me by allowing me to work with Mobile Masters Commision at House of Horrors. It is a Christian horror house that ends up drawing people into Christ. For those who don't know Masters, it is a group you can join some time after high school that takes you all over the world ministering. During this time, you are also taken through a radical life-changing experience that not only shows you, but thousands of school kids and foreigners, that God is all powerful and we truly can do anything through Him. I myself am planning on taking this commitment after high school. My goals in life are to become a writer of novels that will save millions, to follow Christ's role and become like Him as far as sin goes, to master the guitar, to do good in school, to be the best I can be, to find peace, to get a house of my own, and to help anyone I meet who needs it. I don't support abortion, but I won't go against the people doing it by running them down. It's murder -- no two ways about it. There is a statistic that over one-third of my generation is dead because of abortion. Less than one percent of that came from rape. My views on it should be clear from that . . . I could have had a best friend that I didn't because someone wasn't willing to give the child up for adoption or something rather than kill the baby. This is not even a fraction of my whole testimony, but I pray it does help someone. To all who read this -- God bless, and you're not alone. As for my picture, I have not included one because I feel my testimony is for everyone to maybe see some of their own face in this and not mine. God bless, "Godchaser" http://www.jcfaith.com/Godchaser |
